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Senators and Representatives: They're Just Like You Caligula

A private subway system and private gym and private restaurants and private conference rooms and massive suites of fine offices isn't enough for hard-working Members of Congress -- they also need secret crypts hidden all over the Capitol so they can booze it up or fuck a page. These precious freedoms are known as "hideaways," and they are heavily guarded by Capitol Police.


Here are some apparently true details about the beloved whore-huts:

* "One senator drew on his roots as a pilot and designed his hideaway space as a cockpit, where he donned a telephone headset to communicate with ground control -- his staff across the street."

* James Inhofe has one of those chrome Jesus fish on his hideaway's door: Don't come knockin' if that fish is rockin'!

* Rahm Emanuel's has a wood-burning fireplace and probably a bunch of Richard Pryor albums!

* LBJ fucked secretaries in his hideaway at the end of a long day of work -- oh, right, he called it "taking dictation." Get it??

* There's a guy who comes around before lunchtime and stocks the "escape rooms" with "wine and cocktail glasses, ice, fresh flowers and whatever else he thought senators wanted or needed."

* "When Sen. Patrick Leahy wants privacy, he heads down one of the Capitol's marbled hallways and through a locked door next to a hulking, white marble statue. Then, through another locked door, into a hideaway secure from the bustle outside."

Hideaways offer US senators a respite from the hubbub, an occasional place for mischief [IHT]

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It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

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"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

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