Senile Hologram Doesn't Even Know He's President! Or Something!

You know it's a bad day on the internet — or at least the rightwing internet — when you look at Twitter and these are the top two things listed for you under "What's happening":

Oh, OK! Thank you for the factcheck that Joe Biden outside the White House was real, fact-checkers! We weren't aware there might be a question about that! It is where he lives, after all!

More on that in a sec.

The "president harris" thing is because Biden DID A GAFFE and called Vice President Harris "President Harris." Here, you can watch it. Newsmax really wants you to watch it, so you can see that Joe Biden is DEMENTIA.

Isn't that just proof that Biden is DEMENTIA? He forgot to say "vice"! And all his other words were totally normal, but that's not the point! The point is that Biden is DEMENTIA.

You know, unlike certain previous presidents who said words like this:

And it was 30 or 35 questions, the first questions are very easy, the last questions are much more difficult, like a memory question, it's uh, like you'll go "Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV." So they'll say, "Could you repeat that?" So I said "Yeah. So it's Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV." OK, that's very good. If you get it in order, you get extra points. OK, now he's asking you other questions, other questions. And then 10 minutes, 15, 20 minutes later, they say, "Remember the first question? Not the first but the 10th question? Give us that again, can you do that again? And you go, "Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV." If you get it in order, you get extra points! They said nobody gets it in order, it's actually not that easy. But for me it was easy! And that's not an easy question! In other words, they give you five names and you have to repeat them, and that's OK. If you repeat them out of order, that's OK, but, but, you know, that's not as good. But then when you go back about 20, 25 minutes later, and they say "go back to that question" -- they don't tell you this! -- "go back to that question, and repeat them, can you do it?" and you go "Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV." They say, "That's amazing! How did you do that?" I do it because I have like a good memory, because I'm cognitively there! I got a perfect mark! And the doctors were, they said "very few people can do that." Very few people get that, you understand, it's not that easy! There were other questions tougher than what I just did! But it's not that easy!

As we have just proven, Biden DEMENTIA.


Just a senile dementia hologram body double. Typical Joe Biden.

The general gist of this very stupid story is that President Biden talked to reporters on the White House lawn the other day, and there was something funky with one of the cameras, something glitchy, and it made the microphones in the shot look weird, made it look like Biden's hand literally passed through them. This obviously made the right-wing internet decide the conspiracy theory was true, Joe Biden is not really the president, Joe Biden is a hologram, Joe Biden is dead, Joe Biden is body double, Joe Biden is fake ...


Let's zoom in.

Here's that weirdo Trump Nazi guy, the one with the 4-cylinder Mustang, he has a theory:

Maybe the MICROPHONES are holograms!

As Mashable explains, this really went nuts on Reddit (of course) and in QAnon-landia, and among all the other stupidest people on the internet. Mashable also explains what happened with the camera angles, what made it look funky. They even showed a video shot from a different direction, where Senile Hologram Joe Biden did not even shapeshift!

Here's a reporter who was there and confirms there was a real president in front of him, that he was holding one of the mics in the video, but THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY.

You can watch the video embedded in that tweet for yourself and decide if that is a real president or a CGI-generated president. Or you can, you know, not be an unhinged moron who needs adult supervision at all times.

And that is why the internet was stupid yesterday, the end.

Pretty sure we're gonna refer to Joe Biden as "Senile Hologram Joe Biden" from now on, though.

Just because. He needed a new nickname.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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