Seriously, Joe Biden, Next Time Just Call Them 'Dumb Motherf*ckers'

At the end of our post on President Joe Biden saying dumbass GOP governors Greg Abbott and Tate "Tater Tater Tater Tater Tater" Reeves were engaged in "Neanderthal thinking" when they decided at the absolute stupidest time to lift all their COVID-19 public safety measures, we said Biden should next time just call them "some dumbass motherfuckers." We understood, we said, that Biden is trying to be the anti-Trump and not engage in such caustic rudeness, but that it would feel good, and it would have the benefit of being correct.

Well, the usual suspects are having the usual triggered snowflake reactions to being called Neanderthal-thinking practitioners. None of this would have happened if he had just called them "some dumbass motherfuckers." Oh sure, they'd still be performatively sobbing about civility, but it'd be a lot funnier.

Dumbass motherfucker GOP Senator Marsha Blackburn went on Fox News to say she "started the Neanderthal caucus." She said some other prattle about how Neanderthals were "hunter-gatherers" and "resilient" and "resourceful," somehow tying that to her earlier opposition to a state income tax in Tennessee. As if that's what anyone thinks when they hear the word "Neanderthal" in this context.

Next time, call them "some dumbass motherfuckers." Let Marsha Blackburn say she's the chair of the "Dumb Motherfucker Caucus." It'll be one of the first true things she's said this year.

Tater Reeves went on Fox News to whine that he feels "the same way" — very hurt, we bet! — as he did when Hillary Clinton called them all "deplorables." Hillary, of course, didn't call all Trump supporters "deplorables," but if the shoe fits, Tater.

After that, a Fox News person noted that conservatives are probably already selling "proud Neanderthal" shirts and whatnot. And they are:

See, if Biden had just called them "some dumbass motherfuckers," they'd have to put that on a coffee cup and on their panties and on the bookmarks they use when they come upon a long word in one of their racist Dr. Seuss books and can't sound it out and have to set it down to go ask Jeeves how to say that very big word. Make Tater put that on a hat.

Newsweekhas some more quotes from deplorablesNeanderthals dumbass motherfuckers whiiiiiiining. Like seditionist un-American GOP senator Josh Hawley, who reportedly said on Fox News, "What a uniter Joe Biden is. You know this is Mr. Unity. And yet if you disagree with him, you're a Neanderthal." Or a dumbass motherfucker who is also a ratfaced seditionist troll doll from hell.

Little Marco Rubio found an odd angle for his performative outrage:

OK, sure, you bet, Joe Biden was being racist against the white people and Asians. Absolutely.

See, if Biden had just called them "some dumbass motherfuckers," then Little Marco would ... OK he'd probably be saying Biden was being unfairly racist against dumb people who fuck their mothers. Then he'd tweet a random Bible verse.

GOP Rep. Dan Crenshaw, talking to Hugh Hewitt:

"The guy with low cognitive capacity is calling everybody else Neanderthals. First of all, that's rich. I also find it rich that he's doing his sanctimonious pearl clutching over a bunch of Texans who by the way can still wear masks."

That's right, this whiny ass weenus baby rep who's spent the last several years sucking the toes of Donald "I ACED MY DEMENTIA TEST!" Trump is calling Biden a "guy with low cognitive capacity."

For the record, Dr. Anthony Fauci, who is neither deplorable nor Neanderthal, neither dumbass nor motherfucker, told CNN that it's "inexplicable" to roll back safety measures right now, with thousands of people still getting the virus and dying, with new variants spreading, but yet also when the end is finally in sight. Fauci didn't say this, but we think it's safe to say that if you do that right now, you are one dumbass motherfucker.

Meanwhile in surprising news, Alabama GOP Governor Kay Ivey just extended her state's mask mandate for another month. Guess she doesn't feel like doing any Neanderthal thinking, at least right this second. Of course, if she does let it expire on April 9, as she says she plans to, that'll make her a dumbass motherfucker just like the rest of 'em.

[h/t Joe.My.God]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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