Several Republicans Spotted At Coffee Shops Recently
All of the important DC people are at the Fiscal Responsibility Summit, being eaten by lions, so we have rounded up exclusive insider information about famous-for-DC types being spotted in other places, such as glamorous Naples, Florida back in 2006, or in Los Angeles a couple weeks ago. Click the clicky to learn how Fred Thompson once reacted to an inappropriate joke!
This comes from reader "Heroinmule," who accurately describes Naples as "a 1950s dystopia built by Midwestern, WASP millionaires who retired instead to Florida’s west coast to avoid the Jewish people on the east coast":
My father was standing in line at a grocery store back in 2006. He turned around to find ol’ Fred Thompson. I really, really wish he remembered what Fred was buying. One hopes it was arugula and mineral water. Though my father is well-meaning, unfortunately he occasionally says inappropriate things about minorities. He told Fred some terrible joke about Jesus telling the Mexicans to not do anything until he gets back. Let’s be kind and say he was “star”-struck. Despite his send-them-there-Mexicans-home rhetoric, he just looked befuddled. Clearly Fred Thompson is a Mexican-loving fraud. And unfortunately, I have to deal with the fact that Fred Thompson is less of a racist than my father. I’ll give him a pass since he eventually came around and voted for Obama.
Also, my grandmother administers a wonderful job-training program for mentally handicapped students at a prominent Naples hotel (she’s kind and doesn’t tell racist jokes). In March 2006 the hotel was hosting Cheney as part of “Victory 2006.” The employees were forced to park over a mile away due to the security, and on the walk in, my grandmother made a comment about the inconvenience to a secret service dude, to which he replied, “don’t look the vice president in the eyes.” Cuz she’s sassy, she said, “what is he, a god?” Luckily she was not sent to Guantanamo.
More recently, our readers have chanced upon such celebrities as Arnold Schwarzenegger, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, and the inventor of the Axis of Evil, Michael Gerson.
- Last Sunday, I was out on a bike ride with 40 other liberal hippies training for the Aids Ride and saw Arnold Schwarzenegger in a restaurant next a Starbucks in Westwood, CA. He was sort of staring off into space, possibly contemplating how he could put the entire state on furlough and look like a good guy.
- I saw Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz at the Good Stuff Eatery last night. She was there with her family, looked like she had just come from work (was the House in session yesterday?). I didn't recognize her until she had already gone by - glad that one of DC's best new restaurants is getting attention.
- I just saw former Dubya speechwriter Michael Gerson walking out of Starbucks near Waterfront park in Old Town looking quite annoyed and hurried. Also I thought all Republicans believed Starbucks and their fancy lattes to be the work of the devil, hmmm?
Have you seen somebody vaguely important-looking wandering around your town? Somebody who maybe you saw once on Rachel Maddow's show, or talking to the little squirrel-faced man on C-SPAN's 'American Perspectives'? Send your report to firstname.lastname@example.org or be forever known as a traitor to your nation.