Sexxxy Green Bay Packers Quarterback Tells Refugee Haters To Eat Astroturf
Easy on the eyes, just saying.
The past few days have been sad and disheartening. We began the weekend mourning with our friends in Paris in the aftermath of terrorist attacks meant to, well, terrorize. And then many of our own American citizens, including Republican governors and senators, jumped into the fray, to make it clear that they would NOT stand for that happening on our shores, by saying "Get bent and die!" to millions of Syrian people, many of them children, who are literally running for their lives trying to escape brutal war.
"But what if one a them ISISes pretends to be a refugee and gets in to Alabammy, pew pew pew, I just shat my last pair of underpanties, ROLL TIDE!" said Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley, in so many words.
"Well, we're going to screen them, obviously, FOR TWO YEARS, but you're all a bunch of horrible bigots who would rather let kids die, apparently. I wish you were all George W. Bush," said President Obama. (Paraphrase.)
And the reply from Republicans like Ted Cruz, Rupert Murdoch, Jeb Bush and so many others came back, and it was that they're apparently OK with Middle Eastern toddlers dying, as long as they don't die in 'Murka. These Republicans would have more sympathy for the Syrian refugees, we guess, if instead of Muslim children, they were Caucasian fetuses or Terri Schiavo.
It's tempting to write off large swaths of our countrymen in times like these, ain't it?
But there are good people. Look for the helpers, Mr. Rogers said, and here is somebody who is trying to help. He is Aaron Rodgers, the quarterback of the Green Bay Packers, and he did not like it one stinkin' bit when some hateful a-hole Packers fans used the Moment of Silence for Paris, during the game this weekend, to shout anti-Muslim words from the stands. So Rodgers spent part of his post-game presser saying what he thought about that:
“I think it’s important to do things like [the moment of silence]. We’re connected--a connected world [with] six degrees of separation. I must admit that I was very disappointed with whoever the fan was who made the comment. I thought it was really inappropriate during the moment of silence. It’s that kind of prejudicial ideology that, I think, puts us in the position that we’re in today as a world.”
He added, "That's all I'm going to say about that," and dropped his mic like BYE FELICIA, but in a masculine bro way.
It's hard to make out exactly what the bad fans say, but we're pretty sure Wisconsin bigots say things like "DIRTY TERRORIST BASTARD MUSLIM KIDS, AND ALSO WISCONSIN CHEESE AND YOU BETCHA!" Just teasing, according to GOOD magazine, the people said "Death to Muslims" and "Muslims suck." We like ours better, because at least there's a joke about cheese in it.
Also, Aaron Rodgers is very hot, Wonket Science Fact. Sexy and NOT a bigot? Be still our hearts!
Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.
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