* Shaha Raza finally did what Iraq couldn't: Get Paul Wolfowitz fired.

* But Miss RZA is hardly an innocent victim, we learned. She is bitchy, and has sent out press releases in the past!

* Those left-wing libtards over at Free Republic are demanding that Bush be impeached ... wait, what?

* Somebody finally killed Bill Clinton.

* Simple men like Duncan Hunter have $75,000 in credit-card debt, while gazillionaire Mitt Romney hangs out in brothels pretending to be a science-fiction superhero.

* Hillary needs a new campaign song and you can even suggest something other than the usual baby-boomer/Dixie Chicks crap. We wrote in Sabbath's "WAR PIG" and the Stones' "Bitch."

* It was a championship round of NUT VS. NUT as the GOP candidates dreamed up new ways to torture everyone. Oh, and somebody made a funny about John Edwards getting his pussy shaved at the $500 beauty salon. Oh, and we liveblogged the whole excruciating thing.

* What else? Oh, the Singularity occured and we're now living in the alternate universe -- you know, the one where a bedridden John Ashcroft is the hero who defends the Constitution from the criminal Bush gang?

* John Kerry can't get enough of some retard pong game on his Blackberry.

* Dick Cheney most resembles a celebrity named Dick Cheney.

* Beloved entertainer Jerry "Fatty" Falwell dropped dead, and a nation laughed. Good night, fundyman.