Shhhh Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is Finally Getting A Goddamn Night's Sleep!

Weekly Top Ten

Well, that was quite a decade we had since Tuesday! Did you sleep? Did you hydrate? Did you bake some goddamn BIDEN COOKIES? Us too, maybe, unclear, it's still Friday afternoon here. Let's have Wonkette's Top 10 stories this week as chosen by Joe Biden's Avengers.

10. Judge Orders Post Office To Get Off Its Ass And Find Mail-In Ballots, Now, Vite, NO, NOW. It's true, he did that. Then Postmaster General Louis DeJoy explained to him, "no."

9. Idaho Legislators Make Pro-Virus Video In Stupid-Spreader Event. We're fucked.

8. It's Election Eve. NO BEDWETTING, PLEASE! We're not fucked!

7. Enjoy Your Socially Distant, Razor-Blade Free Halloween At Home! Did you? We did!

6. Guy Who Wanted To Kidnap Gov. Gretchen Whitmer Over COVID Orders Scared Of Getting COVID In Jail. Yeah, these people are really something.

5. A Comforting End Of Day Post Consisting Of Some Words In An Order. Was it comforting? It didn't seem that comforting.

4. Armed Trump Supporters Attempt To Road Rage Biden Campaign Out Of Texas. This was awful.

3. Can We PLEASE Close The Deal Today? Election Results Liveblog, Day Three! We ... could not.

2. Refresh This Post Every Five Seconds. Election Live Updates, Day Two! You did!

1. Could It Be ... Your LAST TRUMP LIVEBLOOG ... EVER? It was not.

There, now you have relived that magnificent week! Would you like to do it all over again? You wouldn't? Weird.

Here is a video out of 12 on my phone where most of them were just black, with vote counts in the background. My the girls like documenting the atrocities.

And here is a picture, which they also took.

And here is one that they didn't.

Look at those punims! I eat them! I eat them right now!

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And with that Robyn's up, and I'm OUT! We love you so much we can't even stand it, bye bye!

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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