Shirtless Geraldo Says Royal Family Racist, He Might Run For Senate, OK Byeeeeeee!

Sex

Well, everyone, Geraldo Rivera had a day yesterday! It wasn't like the day he put his naked pubic mound on the internet, but it was a day where he showed some skin, called out some racism, talked about some #careergoals ...

As far as we can tell, it was not his worst day lately at all.

First of all, Nakey Geraldo decided to do a dispatch from Sarasota, Florida, where he nakedly shared his thoughts on Meghan Markle and Piers Morgan and that whole thing. And his thoughts were ... not bad!


Geraldo began, shirtless, by saying he wanted to add his voice to the chorus of people talking about Piers Morgan being a piece of shit garbage racist, so there he was, outside, with that hair and that old man tan, adding his voice.

And we don't say this often about Geraldo, but he was CORRECT. He said Piers Morgan was "out of line." He said he'd always liked Piers Morgan, blah blah blah, but come the fuck on, dude.

GERALDO: Her complaints about mental illness really rang true to me, and I think that when someone makes that claim, unless you have concrete information, which I do not think Piers Morgan has, then you can't just go out there and say you don't believe her, I mean, that's ridiculous.

Um ... GO ON, WOKE NAKED GERALDO?

GERALDO: I think that this whole thing about the baby, the royal baby's color, if that child, if Archie, the son, and the daughter that's coming, if they don't get royal titles, I think that's, the proof's right there in the pudding. If the royal family can't give Harry and Meghan's kids royal titles, then I think racism has to be thought of as a possible reason why they're making that really unpleasant decision ...

Well all right! We are Team Shirtless Geraldo so far!

Then he turned his angle on the camera so we could see more of his gray chest hair and his right armpit and he said something about the border, and yeah no.

When some person was like hey, Nakey Geraldo, why don't you put on a shirt and do something about your face hair, he was like hey person, no way.

A bit later in the day, Geraldo, perhaps maybe he got a little too much sun on his nipples, because he started thinking about running for the United States Senate in Ohio.

And most of the entire internet made fun of him, because LOL shut up, but some people were nice, so Nakey Geraldo For US American Senate was nice back, because that is how you #politics.


Then he told some woman named Lynne to "come on board early" and we remembered how naked he probably was and we closed Nakey Geraldo's Twitter and ran a virus scan, the end.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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