Ever since the beginning of the confirmation hearings for Brett Kavanaugh, the man who lacks in chins exactly as much as he lacks in integrity, Democrats have been screaming from every rooftop, "GIVE US THE FUCKING DOCUMENTS!" Because Donald Trump and Senate Republicans have been hell-bent on getting this little fucker on the Supreme Court before the midterms, lest they lose the Senate or at this rate (LOL) the presidency, they've been doing everything they can to hide any sorts of documents that might make Kavanaugh look like the craven little shitheel he is. (Mitch McConnell knew this problem was coming back in the summer when he was encouraging Trump to nominate Not Brett Kavanaugh, because of Kavanaugh's long and problematic paper trail.)

Therefore, there's been a tranche of millions of billions of pages (math estimate) of documents that the GOP-led Senate Judiciary Committee has kept hidden, by simply labeling them "Committee Confidential," meaning only committee members are allowed to look at them.

Until now.

At the beginning of this morning's confirmation hearings (liveblog here!), Cory Booker mustered all the BDE he has -- which is a lot -- and said fuck you, I'm gonna release some shit, even it means I get in big trouble mister, and even if it means I am subject to getting expelled from the Senate. He explained that he broke the rules knowingly and on purpose, because America deserves to know who this sniveling giant forehead of a man is that President Unindicted Co-Conspirator so badly wants as his personal SCOTUS judge. Booker said it was probably the closest he'd ever come in in his life to having an "I Am Spartacus" moment, and that if the Republicans are so mad about what he did, then DO IT. Go through the process of expelling him from the Senate if you're sooooooooo mad, John Cornyn and Chuck Grassley and Thom Tillis and all you other ratfuckers.

At that point, John Cornyn pulled his own limp dick out of his mouth and read the Senate rules about how Cory Booker should be expelled from the Senate. Booker replied, "BRING IT."

Of course there was one little problem for Republicans wishing to stupidly take Booker's dare, because literally every other Democratic member of the committee, including vice chair Dianne Feinstein, had Booker's back. They weren't having an "I am Spartacus" moment, though. It went more like this:

HIRONO: Oh captain, my captain!

BLUMENTHAL: Oh captain, my captain!

COONS: Oh captain, my captain!


WHITEHOUSE: If Feinstein's gay, I'm gay!

HARRIS: Guys, we're doing Dead Poets Society, not campy gay 1997 film In & Out!

DURBIN: I'm gay AND a captain!

You get the idea. Mazie Hirono was like, "I also too have some 'committee confidential' documents" and Dick Durbin was like, "Me three!" and hell, the camera even caught Dianne Feinstein raising her hand as if to say "OOH ME TOO, YOU DOUCHETWATS! PUT THIS DOWN ON MY PERMANENT RECORD!"

Weirdly, after that, suddenly and magically, the committee just then decided none of those documents are confidential anymore. In other words, BLUFF CALLED.

For an Alternative Facts view of what just happened, let's go to Bill Burck, the random civilian representing the Bush administration (as well as Reince Priebus, Don McGahn and STEVE BANNON), who's been going through the Kavanaugh documents and determining what should be a big secret:

Hahahaha, Bill Burck, EAT ME.

And now the documents are FLYING out -- watch that link for updates -- because suddenly they're not a big secret anymore! Guess an open revolt by literally every Democrat, up to and including Dianne Feinstein, has a way of making things like that happen. (Briefly, for those on the left who like to bitch and moan that the Democrats never do anything, well, here is an example of them DOING SOMETHING. Experience counts for something, we guess.)

And surprise, what a lot of those documents seem to be showing is A METRIC FUCKTON OF FUCKERY.

For instance, leaked emails show Kavanaugh being not so sure about Roe v. Wade being the "settled law of the land" and Cory Booker's personal leak shows Kavanaugh being kiiiiinda li'l bit whole bunch racist.

Oh, and they also add to the growing body of evidence that Kavanaugh has a little PERJURY PROBLEM, including in testimony he gave TODAY and YESTERDAY. Hell, with all the lies and inconsistencies coming out today, we think it's safe to say that whatever Kavanaugh is saying right now, there's a good chance he's perjuring himself. He probably doesn't even drive carpool or coach his daughter's softball team, if that is even his real daughter and she wasn't hired by the Federalist Society.

And so on and so forth! But we'll cover all that in another post.

Y'all, this is only going to get worse for Brett Kavanaugh, because there will be MOAR DOCUMENTS.

If Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski and Jeff Flake and Bob Corker and whatever Republicans who still have some semblance of a soul -- not to mention red state Dems and OH HI BLACK REPUBLICAN TIM SCOTT, you might be interested in those emails about race -- don't come to Jesus, and soon, then they're even worse Americans than we already thought they were (which is pretty dang bad, honestly).

Keep it up, Democrats! Dig that fucker's judicial grave and then piss on it (WITH DOCUMENTS).

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!

Help Wonkette LIVE FOREVER! Seriously, if you can, please hit the nifty donation widget below! Didn't that feel so good?

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Donate with CC

On Saturday, Glenn Greenwald saw a story in the New York Times about how the US is mucking around in Russia's power grid in a show of power:

In interviews over the past three months, [current and former US] officials described the previously unreported deployment of American computer code inside Russia's grid and other targets as a classified companion to more publicly discussed action directed at Moscow's disinformation and hacking units around the 2018 midterm elections.

So Glenn Greenwald, being a total Glenn Greenwald, used that moment to defend his president, Donald J. Trump, because OMG it is just crazy that the liberals and the Deep State and the Rachel Maddow think Trump is some kind of puppet of Vladimir Putin, just because he constantly acts like a puppet of Vladimir Putin.

HAW HAW, LIBS OWNED! Isn't Donald Trump always saying nobody's tougher on Russia than he is? Glenn Greenwald agrees that nobody is tougher on Russia than Donald Trump, because Donald Trump says so.

As Aaron Rupar from Vox points out, this tweet from Donald Trump arrived just about eight hours later ...

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.


5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc