Tucker And Trump, Translated: Nice Country You Got There. Shame If Anything Were To Happen To It.

A lot of people are paying a lot of attention to how Donald Trump said, from the bottom of his heart obviously, that the "temperature has to be brought down" after the perfectly legal and reasonable search of Mar-a-Lago for whatever nuclear secrets Trump apparently stole to sell to the Saudis, allegedly.

People are so angry, you see! Something must be done to calm these people's anger, and oh boy, he sure is willing to help. Just get a load of this oozing sincerity that Fox News copy/pasted and printed like it was real news:

"The country is in a very dangerous position. There is tremendous anger, like I've never seen before, over all of the scams, and this new one — years of scams and witch hunts, and now this," Trump said.

"If there is anything we can do to help, I, and my people, would certainly be willing to do that," Trump said.

"There has never been a time like this where law enforcement has been used to break into the house of a former president of the United States, and there is tremendous anger in the country — at a level that has never been seen before, other than during very perilous times," Trump said.

Trump told Fox News that his team "has not heard yet" from the Justice Department on whether they will accept his offer for help.

"I think they would want the same thing — I’ve never seen anything like this," Trump said. "It is a very dangerous time for our country."

He added: "I will do whatever I can to help the country."

Trump, reflecting on the "years of fake witch hunts and phony Russia, Russia, Russia schemes and scams," said that "nothing happens to those people who perpetuate that — nothing happens with them."

"And then they break into a president’s house — a sneak attack where it was totally — no one ever thought a thing like this would happen," Trump said.

We copy/pasted a lot of that because we really wanted you to see the context behind the headline that's everywhere, about Trump's offer to help bring down the "temperature." The words he said after that were literally "If it isn’t, terrible things are going to happen."

This wasn't an offer to help, it was a threat from a man who's already incited one terrorist attack against the country, and who's proven repeatedly that he loves to watch the motherfucker burn as long as the human trash that worships him is doing it for his glory.

Which brings us to Tucker Carlson, one of Trump's main squeeze co-arsonists. Everybody was wondering where he was last week, and how he could keep his scheduled vacation at such a time. White supremacist terrorist threats against the FBI are off the charts after the Mar-a-Lago search, and Tucker is off, what, getting his nuts tanned at the nut-tanning spa?

But God bless Jesus, he is back, and as others have noted, this from last night is a fucking ransom note. It is Tucker making pouty lips and doing a drag queen drag brunch performance of Taylor Swift's "Look What You Made Me Do" with a Zippo in his hand. This was Tucker commenting directly on Trump's comments:

This could get very bad, very fast. And the Biden people know that perfectly well, they know what could happen if they continue down this path of using law enforcement to cling to power. But they don't care, because they're facing a repudiation from voters, and they're desperate, and they'll do anything, but at what cost? Pray they pull back before it's too late.

So much bullshit. Polls are looking better for Democrats in the midterms than they have in months, so much so that the Beltway media is even paying attention. So what kind of repudiation, from which voters, you milquetoast twit?

And too late for what, precisely? What's the threat, Tucker? Say it out loud, big tough man.

Tucker got a lot more explicit last night, and released a whole bunch more of that white rage he's been holding in all week, explaining to his viewers, just like he repeatedly did after the January 6 terrorist attacks, that any accountability Trump faces (or in the case of January 6, any accountability the Capitol terrorists faced), is an attack personally on them. The Mar-a-Lago search is Joe Biden declaring war personally on them, as if most of Trump's smelly fans would ever be allowed to darken the doors of the place.

TUCKER: These are acts of aggression and hostility aimed at Americans. No American president has ever done this. No American president has ever explicitly declared war on his own population. And yet, for the Biden administration, it's a near weekly occurrence. Here's Joe Biden and his attorney general, Merrick Garland, telling you that white supremacists — in other words, Trump voters, because that's what they mean when they say white supremacists, a term they've never defined — white supremacists, Trump voters, are the single greatest terror threat the United States faces.

(Tucker plays Merrick Garland clip from June 2021 and Joe Biden in October 2021, intended to zap his viewers' prostates with the angry zaps they love so much, in their white supremacist buttholes. )

TUCKER: So, not to be too literal, but this is on some level a news show, that's a lie. None of what you heard is true. There's not a single statistic or piece of credible research to support what Biden or his attorney general just said. Again, all of it is a lie. The truth, as usual, is the opposite. These are the people who created the crime wave America is suffering under and now they're blaming you for it. And for good measure, they're disarming you because you cannot be trusted with guns because you're too dangerous. And just in case you missed the theme here, they're hiring another 87,000 armed IRS agents [Wonkette link, you're welcome] just to make sure that you obey. Got it?

Wow, that is just a lot of zaps inside his white supremacist buttholes, it is just like zap and then zap and then zap some more.

Tucker's back from whatever he does with his effete pantaloons when he's on vacation, y'all.

And Fox News is right on board with the pre-emptive defenses Tucker and Trump are making for, you know, whatever.

[Fox News / Media Matters]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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