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Can barely... touch... orb...


Poor Donald Trump accidentally slipped during his speech to Islamic leaders Sunday in Riyadh and departed from his prepared text, saying "Islamic terrorism" instead of the less-incendiary "Islamist terrorism." According to a "Senior White House official," the error occurred because the president was "exhausted":

“He’s just an exhausted guy,” the official told reporters on background, after many pointed out that Trump avoided the term "radical Islamic terrorism," during the speech to leaders of more than 50 Muslim-majority nations.

You have to wonder whether the man is fit to be president, don't you? He just doesn't have the stamina. Before you know it, he'll be napping all the time like a common Tillerson.

Trump had been warned to not use his favorite set of magic words, "radical Islamic terrorism," since it might prove offensive to his Saudi hosts. He did manage to avoid the full phrase, probably because he's just a big wuss like Barack Obama now. Since when has Donald Trump cared what people think, huh? And now he's "exhausted"? Following the speech, Trump cancelled a planned appearance at something called the "Tweeps forum," where Ivanka filled in for him.

Talk about low energy. He doesn't have the look. He doesn't have the stamina, we said he doesn't have the stamina, and we don't believe he does have the stamina. To be the president of this country, you need tremendous stamina. Sad.

Hmmm... perspective is everything!

On Saturday, Trump even inclined his head to receive a big gold medal from Saudi King Salman, only it very definitely wasn't a "bow," it was more of a bob or a curtsy, or a dip, because America Bows to No One, except when America is taller and wants the bling:

The bow, nod, squat, bending-over, or other departure from the rigid vertical alignment left Trump buddy Roger Stone angry and sputtering, although how this particular instance could be distinguished from Stone's usual angry, sputtering state is a matter of debate. Stone took to Twitter to express his very candid thoughts on the matter:

Also, @Wonkette and @DoktorZoom are blocked by Roger Stone. Wuss.

We think Stone's just mad because the White House foiled his clever plot to stow away in a wheel well of Air Force One, wearing a bespoke parka loaded up with bottles of oxygen and Bombay Sapphire.

Later in the day Sunday, Trump had recovered enough to help the Saudi king and Egyptian President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi, grasp a glowing globe to formally open the new Global Center for Combating Extremist Ideology, although everyone thought it looked more like he was fondling a cosmic soul-collecting orb or some kind of glowy magic thing from popular "Harry Potter" author J.K. Tolkien:

Online speculation varied as to whether the Orb is the source of Trump's evil power, or actually drained it, leaving him exhausted. In any case, it's clear that Trump is now King Salman's bitch (which is a movie we'd probably avoid, too):

All the exhaustion and orbing left us remembering a kinder, better America, where our wizards didn't have to travel to foreign lands to conjure cosmic energies:

Barry the Grey has enough stamina that he won't have to have one of his daughters give a speech for him, either, tell you what.

[The Hill / Washington Examiner / CNN / WaPo / CNN / Guardian]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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