Six More MAGA Mob Proud Boys Standing By For Prison

Last year, during the first presidential debate, the twice-impeached thug was asked to denounce the Proud Boys but instead he gave the extremist group marching orders: “Proud Boys, stand back and stand by!" Three months later, their members were part of the MAGA mob storming the Capitol.

A federal grand jury indicted six of these assholes Friday. William Chrestman, Christopher Kuehne, and Ryan Ashlock of Kansas; Louis Enrique Colon of Missouri; and Felicia Konold and Cory Konold of Arizona are charged with "conspiring to obstruct or impede an official proceeding" (i.e. the congressional certification of President Joe Biden's victory) and impeding or interfering with law enforcement "during the commission of a civil disorder" (i.e. an attempted coup and violent insurrection). These are just the more serious charges, and they are facing up to 30 years in prison. Meanwhile, their conspirator in chief is chilling at his Florida country club plotting his next supervillain scheme. These clowns are chumps, but they're dangerous chumps.

Proud Boy member Felicia Konold is neither a boy nor in possession of much pride. She's reportedly a "rare female self-proclaimed recruit of the anti-feminist" group. She's not alone in bad choices. There are currently 38 Republican women serving in Congress.

The prosecutors allege that the six conspired well in advance to invade the Capitol and “stop, delay, and hinder the congressional proceeding occurring that day." This wasn't a spontaneous riot but a premeditated coup.

The defendants brought and wore paramilitary gear and supplies — including camouflaged combat uniforms, tactical vests with plates, helmets, eye protection, and radio equipment, and affixed orange tape to their clothing and tactical gear to identify each other. The defendants marched with other members of the Proud Boys to the Capitol and forcibly stormed past exterior barricades, U.S. Capitol Police officers, and law enforcement officers, before all but Ashlock entered the Capitol.

William Chrestman cosplayed an axe murderer in a slasher film, wandering around the Capitol building and grounds with a wooden axe handle. It's weird how he's still alive when cops have fatally shot mentally ill Black men. Chrestmen reportedly incited some of the mob to action with his racist call-and-response number, “Whose House Is It?"

"Our house!" the crowd said.

"Do you want your house back?" Chrestman then questioned.

"Yes!" the crowed said.

"Take it!" Chrestman shouted back, per DOJ documents.

Right-wingers, who spend their lives avoiding paying taxes, often insist that taypayer-funded buildings are their personal property, but that's not actually the case. Chrestman is also charged with threatening to kill a cop "who was preparing to fire non-lethal projectiles to protect the Capitol." He allegedly shouted, "You shoot and I'll take your fucking ass out!"

Last summer, community activist Derrick Sanderlin, who trained the San Jose Police Department on implicit bias, tried to ease tensions between protestors and the police, and the cop shot him in the nuts, where he keeps all the fun stuff. Sanderlin put his hands up and kindly asked the police not to shoot citizens with rubber bullets. That was still interpreted as a hostile action. This is relevant because Senate Republicans during the insurrectionist in chief's second annual impeachment trial put on a production of False Equivalence Theatre where they compared the Capitol attack to last year's unrest. If the cops had actually engaged the protesters in the same manner, it would've been a blood bath. I'm glad it wasn't a blood bath. Too many died already, but this wasn't a peaceful protest. It was the culmination of violent antidemocratic rhetoric the previous White House occupant fostered, mostly unchallenged, for months.

Conservatives are still unashamedly pushing their “blue lives matter" narrative, but the one-term loser's supporters obviously don't support the police when they get in the way of their felonious activities. They support the cops policing other people, who are not white and entitled. May these six Proud Boys enjoy the justice they deserve.*

*No, still no prison rape "jokes" in the comments. Thank you, the end.

[Law and Crime]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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