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Who can know what Ivanka Trump expected upon agreeing to an interview in Cosmopolitan -- that she'd be asked questions like "Is Donald Trump's childcare plan just great, or is it SUPER GREAT?" or asked about whether or not she had ever eaten a donut off of a man's penis, or how she got a beach body so fast after her last child, or like, what she thinks this year's "it bag" is. Whatever she thought, odds are she thought it would be a soft interview -- Cosmo being a ladymag and all! Ladies aren't interested in hard-hitting political coverage, are they? No, that is for the fellas.


OR IS IT?

Senior Editor Prachi Gupta did what few who have attempted to interview a Trump have done -- tried to actually nail her down on some shit instead of smiling and nodding and pretending like what she's saying makes sense and isn't terrible.

Ivanka kicked off the interview by blatantly ignoring the first question posed to her -- "Hillary Clinton released [aspects of] her plan over a year ago. Why did the Trump campaign wait so long to release this policy?" and by saying that she's glad people have two plans they can choose from, and pivoting to talking about how important she thinks childcare is. In a typical Trump interview, this would be how things would continue, but it was not, and it wasn't.

Gupta immediately asked her about why the plan was only for mothers -- and, by the way (oh yeah and by the way DRUDGE SIREN), only for married mothers because single harlots who get knocked up can just go screw -- and Ivanka, I think, tried to suggest that this was SUCH a big step that they didn't want to discuss general parental leave just yet, even though Clinton's plan includes it.

When asked about how this applies to same-sex couples, Ivanka tried to present the plan in a soft, gauzy light:

So it's meant to benefit, whether it's in same-sex marriages as well, to benefit the mother who has given birth to the child if they have legal married status under the tax code.

Oh, how lovely, we're all supposed to think! They even included the lesbians! How very nice of them! But Gupta rained on her parade by asking if gay men would enjoy the same benefit if they adopted a child, and Ivanka was all like "No, cause they don't need to 'recover' and this is just for recovering, not like, bonding with your child or anything."

BUT THEN THINGS TURNED. Gupta asked:

OK, I just wanted to make sure I understood. In 2004, Donald Trump said that pregnancy is an inconvenient thing for a business. It's surprising to see this policy from him today. Can you talk a little bit about those comments, and perhaps what has changed?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. As it turns out, she cannot do that, and instead of answering the question like an adult, decided to turn into Veruca Salt.

So I think that you have a lot of negativity in these questions, and I think my father has put forth a very comprehensive and really revolutionary plan to deal with a lot of issues. So I don't know how useful it is to spend too much time with you on this if you're going to make a comment like that.

Trump then suggested Gupta had made up the quote herself or something.

I would like to say that I'm sorry the questions — you’re finding them negative, but it is relevant that a presidential candidate made those comments, so I'm just following up.

Well, you said he made those comments. I don't know that he said those comments.

This is quoted from an NBC [interview] from 2004. I definitely did not make that up. I do want to talk to you a little bit beyond the plan, as well—

I think what I was — there's plenty of time for you to editorialize around this, but I think he put forth a really incredible plan that has pushed the boundaries of what anyone else is talking about. On child care specifically, there are no proposals on the table. He really took ownership of this issue, and I really applaud him for doing that. I hope that, regardless of what your political viewpoint is, this should be celebrated.

UGH WHY WON'T YOU CELEBRATE ME GOSH DARN IT. CELEBRAAAAATE. I want an Oompa Loompa now! And tell me I'm nice and pretty and give my daddy some credit, ok?

Gupta then had the utter gall to ask how it would be paid for, and Trump got all "I don't know it just will ok?" about shit, and announced that she'd have to cut the interview short, probably because she had important president's daughter-related stuff to do. Not because she was freaked out by the fact that they were questions more like one would ask about someone planning to run the country than for a beauty pageant. No, certainly not that.

[Cosmopolitan]

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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