Happy International Women's Day, Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

Apparently Erik Prince was lying about his expensive beer summit in the Seychelles last January, and was actually ironing out details for secret spy phones between Trump and the Kremlin.

According to a new report by Maggie Haberman, Trump talked to witnesses who'd been interviewed by Robert Mueller to see if Mueller was "nice." Then the witnesses snitched on Trump AGAIN.

Just before she was quit-fired, Hope Hicks told the House Intel Committee that she was hacked and didn't have access to her old email accounts. Oh weird huh.

Milo Yian-whatever canceled a show in Arizona after reportedly receiving death threats; according to local police, the only thing in jeopardy was his career.

Trump is expected to offer a temporary reprieve to Canada and Mexico for his trade war, so he can continue throwing a tantrum, Jared can renegotiate NAFTA, and the US won't slip into an energy crisis and economic depression.

While Chinese President Xi Jinping was visiting the US, Trump asked for a $100 billion reduction in US-China trade deficits, despite tweets to the contrary. [Archive]

Here's a quick recap on everything that's happened (so far) in the Stormy Daniels affair, including Sarah Huckabee Sanders's revelation that Trump sought a restraining order to keep Daniels from talking. Last night, Daniels's lawyer went on TV to call Sarah Huckabee Sanders a damn liar.

Despite a congressional ban, federal workers are still looking at porn, and HUD is the worst offender. I guess we know what Ben Carson does when he isn't sleeping or furniture shopping.

That kid who was the head of the Office of National Drug Control Policy has been hired by HUD. Maybe he can tell all the poors how to mix and match opiates?

The head of the US Forest Service, Tony Tooke, has been quit-fired after an investigation detailed a culture of sexual harassment that included several reports of rape and relationships with subordinates.

Rick Perry was in Texas for a huge energy conference when he made up fancy buzzwords like "New Energy Realism" to describe the "immoral" abandonment of fossil fuels and nuclear power. At one point Perry joked that he'd love to tell the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission how to handle coal and nuclear power plants.

Kris Kobach's voter ID trial is not off to a good start, and the presiding judge has no time for bullshit. Yesterday the judge had to school Kobach's legal team on how depositions work, and then had to  walk one of Kobach's officials through questioning a witness for the second time.

Later today Trump will revive the long-dead debate over violent video games by holding another reality show shouting match with lobbyists and a video game company that counts his brother among its board members. (Trump has a living brother. Did you know that? We checked.)

Congressional Republicans are following their NRA cue-cards and trying to push bills that would allocate millions to turn schools into maximum security prisons.

Under pressure from the widespread outrage over the MSD high school mass shooting three weeks ago, legislators in the Florida House passed some minor gun control measures. Now Republican Governor Rick Scott is stalling.

Florida state legislators also want to pass a bill that would force local and state elected officials to submit letters of resignation in order to run for federal office, so Republicans can clear out all the Democrats in Miami clamoring for Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen's seat.

Things are looking good for Conor Lamb right now as Republicans begin to trash their candidate in the Pennsylvania 18th.

Known as the "cannabis candidate," a Chicago-area Democrat running for the IL 5th seat is now defending himself against charges that he beat his ex and doxxed her, threatened colleagues in academia, and lied about his service. He says he only LOOKS creepy.

Eleven countries will sign a TPP alternative to reduce tariffs and increase trade among signatory nations later today. The agreement is expected to account for 13 percent of global trade, and create trillions in revenue.

An ex-Russian spy was found poisoned in the UK, fueling reports of a Russian clean-up operation.

A UK paper owned by Rupert Murdoch is facing more charges that Murdoch's paper hired people to spy on politicians and private citizens by stealing financial records, trash, phone bills, and email.

A Chinese state-owned bank is giving a billion dollars to build a huge panda conservatory so that people can look at all the silly bears that won't fuck to save their species.

WaPo's Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist David Fahrenthold has a contest to see who can guess how much money the Trump Organization has been making from Not American business dealings.

And here's your morning Nice Time! Baby sloth recuse!

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or lying in a gutter taking photos.

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Hooray, it's time for yet another dispatch from Fox News's big fun week of failure. (No, we mean even more failure than usual.) While all of Twitter is being annoying and talking incessantly about nothing but Bran and Daenerys and Carl and Peg or whoever they are, we have been (ignoring it and) focusing on all Fox's sadness, starting with Pete Buttigieg's town hall, where he called Fox News a piece of shit to its face. Then we laughed and laughed at Fox News idiot Pete Hegseth, who is sending lots of begging to today's college graduates, that they might immediately get dropped on their heads and forget all their education, so they might grow up to be the Fox News viewers of the future.

Oh, and we haven't even had a chance to LOL at the epic hilarity of Steve Doocy trying to do man-on-the-street interviews in Midtown Manhattan, shoving the mic into the faces of New Yorkers who literally don't care if he goes and plays in traffic. That was fun!

But the point of this post is that we have finally learned what makes at least some Fox News viewers tick, and it is that Tucker Carlson "laughs like a girl." That is not us saying that, that is a Fox News fan lady telling the Washington Post's Erik Wemple why she loves Tucker Carlson so much.

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Old White Guys Try To Explain Abortion

Throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It's your Sunday show rundown!


Michael is out, so I'm taking over your Sunday Show Rundown. This week everyone was talking about those awful abortion laws worming their way through state legislatures. As usual, most of the men were tripping on their dicks while trying to talk about vag. Luckily, there's enough women around to ladysplain things.

Bernie Sanders went on Meet the Press for the first time in FOREVER and played his greatest hits for all the kids. Sanders criticized Joe Biden's environmental policy (which is literally just "beat Trump"), stating that it wasn't "good enough." Sanders is right! (NO FIGHTING.)

SANDERS: Beating Trump is not good enough. You have to beat the fossil fuel industry, you have to take on all the forces of the status quo who do not want to move this country to energy efficiency and sustainable energy.

But then Chuck Todd asked Bernie a loaded question about women getting "sex-selective" abortions and the whole interview went off the rails. Bernie struggled to answer the dumbass question and came across looking stupid despite having spent the better part of the last week in Alabama railing against abortion bans.

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