So JD Vance Is Pretty Pathetic, Yeah?

Ohio GOP Senate hopeful and Hillfucker Elegy author JD Vance is regretful this week, and taking stock of the things he's said in the past that might have been hurtful. You know, it's that whole "old tweets come back to bite cha!" thing.

But this isn't some kind of Chrissy Teigen situation. Rather, it was discovered that back before Vance traded in his brain for a chance to compete for Republican elected office, he said some things about Dear Leader Trump that were decidedly wrongthink. And he is so sorry, so so sorry, so very so very so so so sooooooooooo sorry. Please, Mister Trump, can you ever forgive J.D. Vance?

He has come under fire for deleting tweets from 2016 that were unearthed by CNN's Andrew Kaczynski — including one in which he said he was voting for Evan McMullin, and another calling Trump "reprehensible" because of his views toward "Immigrants, Muslims, etc."

A recent Daily Beast column ran with the headline "Hypocrite's Elegy: J.D. Vance Is an Avatar of GOP Corruption," and Democrat Tim Ryan, who is vying for the Ohio Senate seat, tweeted: ".@JDVance1 and I have exactly one thing in common — neither of us voted for Donald Trump."

Oh, the sins for which J.D. Vance must atone, if he ever wishes to be granted entrance into the kingdom. (That Daily Beast article linked in the excerpt is fun, by the way.)

Politico reports that Vance went to Mar-a-Lago to kneel before the Lord's little gross feet and ask forgiveness, and that he asked Fox News viewers for their grace as well:

"Like a lot of people, I criticized Trump back in 2016," Vance said. "And I ask folks not to judge me based on what I said in 2016, because I've been very open that I did say those critical things and I regret them, and I regret being wrong about the guy. I think he was a good president, I think he made a lot of good decisions for people, and I think he took a lot of flak."

Vance added that he himself had been criticized for standing up for the former president's voters and agenda, saying, "I think that's the most important thing, is not what you said five years ago, but whether you're willing to stand up and take the heat and take the hits for actually defending the interests of the American people."

Oh, pitiful.

So this is what you have to do now if you want to participate in the authoritarian neo-fascist death cult that is the modern GOP. It's funny to see Vance doing it, though, because weren't we told that he was different? Wasn't he supposed to be a very special snowflake messenger of the common man, who something something fake bootstraps shitty book shittier movie?

Of course, many have noted that if it's Donald Trump's endorsement J.D. Vance wants so badly, there's this other guy in the Ohio GOP Senate race named Josh Mandel who's been total garbage since the very beginning, who's never had to fake it even a little bit.

We forget, what's Josh Mandel been up to lately?


Good luck winning the favor of the worst human God ever created, who just happens to own the Republican party's soul, when you're competing with THAT, J.D. Vance.


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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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