So This Is What The 'Straight Pride Parade' Looks Like. Huh.
Today, tens of deeply unattractive people and the far-right extremist groups that love them are marching down the streets of Boston to celebrate "Straight Pride." The kind of people who really meant it when they said that same-sex marriage would make them feel less special. Now they are trying to feel special again by trying to pretend that straight people are an "oppressed majority," in a move they hope will teach the left a lesson about why "identity politics" is bad. It would probably have helped if they had any idea what "identity politics" even is. We appear to be past that point by now.
Organizers have said the expect about 1,000 people to come to their little rally, though that does not appear to be the case.
But let's look at what we've got here, eh? First off, here are John Hugo, Mark Sahady and Chris Bartley, the guys who organized the whole thing, during a press conference in which they were asked a very relevant question.
Sahady and Bartley, who are involved with a group that calls itself — get ready for this — "Resist Marxism," and both it and they have strong ties to right-wing extremist groups like Patriot Prayer and the Proud Boys.
Now let's take a look at the parade, shall we? There's a very convenient livestream going on, hosted by some guy in a MAGA hat who does not quite know how to operate his GoPro yet.
This guy in the furry hat, he's going on here about how the people behind something I'm not clear on are professors with single stall bathrooms. Later on, we briefly see him talking to these other two doofuses about how they bring out "holocaust survivors" for, uh, something. Whatever it is, it's not good.
So we've got the one guy with his face painted green, wearing a t-shirt that says "Free Kekistan," and his friend who is dressed like Honkler the racist frog clown.
Oh, yeah, and as you can see from the previous tweet, there's also a guy who "identifies as a shark." Yawn.
But here's some more of those frog guys, who were apparently mad about their white supremacist subreddit being shut down. The one in the Free Pepe shirt is carrying a pillow of a misogynistic YouTuber, so you can tell he's definitely having ALL the heterosexual sex. With human women. All of the time. I mean, man, they see that pillow and it's just like "Oh boy, am I ever taking you to pound town."
Then there was this guy.
And uh, this one standing in front of the Old South Church wearing a shirt featuring John Kennedy wearing a Trump hat, which I guess is like the Masshole version of the Mormons baptizing dead people.
Anyway, these people are fucking assholes. What else can I say? They are the absolute most goddamn pathetic human beings I have ever seen in my whole entire life, and if they were not also hateful pig monsters, I would feel badly for them. As it stands, I do not. I merely wish that they would dig deep within themselves and find a way that they can feel "special" without needing to be legally better than anyone else, so that they do not go around ruining a perfectly nice day in Boston with their bullshit. I don't know, maybe they can marathon some Barney. I'm sure it's streaming somewhere.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse