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It all makes sense now! Just kidding, it never DIDN'T make sense why Secretary of State Rex Tillerson would look Donald Trump up and down, from his bird's nest of a head to his little bitty extremities, and say, "Why I do declare, there is a fucking moron in front of me!" But it's helpful to have a little context, we guess.

We knew Tillerson was overheard saying the swear heard around the world just after a July meeting at the Pentagon, but now we know how Trump behaved during that meeting. NBC reports he was SO MAD America doesn't have as many nuclear weapons as we used to and wanted us to add almost TEN TIMES AS MANY to our arsenal:

President Donald Trump said he wanted what amounted to a nearly tenfold increase in the U.S. nuclear arsenal during a gathering this past summer of the nation’s highest ranking national security leaders, according to three officials who were in the room. [...]

Officials present said that Trump’s comments on a significantly increased arsenal came in response to a briefing slide that outlined America’s nuclear stockpile over the past 70 years. The president referenced the highest number on the chart — about 32,000 in the late 1960s — and told his team he wanted the U.S. to have that many now, officials said.

The U.S. currently has around 4,000 nuclear warheads in its military stockpile, according to the Federation of American Scientists.

Shouldn't have shown him that fuckin' chart.

A day before that meeting, Trump horrified Tillerson by comparing Afghanistan war strategy to sprucing up an ailing restaurant. Obviously Tillerson was primed to tell any eavesdroppers listening that his boss Trump is a YOOGE MORON, MOST TREMENDOUS FUCKING MORON ON EARTH, SUCH A MORON WE'RE GONNA GET SICK OF MORONS.

Trump has had this little nuclear weapons problem since forever. He wants to use them soooooooooo bad, and doesn't understand why if we have them, we're not allowed to GO BOOM. This, presumably, would be the same reaction he'd have if Melania gold-plated one of the toilets in the White House residence and said he wasn't allowed to shit in it. If Trump's tiny hands are anywhere near anything, he thinks it's his God-ordained right to grab it.

Of course, much of the world (INCLUDING AMERICA) has been working on nuclear non-proliferation and disarmament since about five minutes after that one time America used them against Japan. There has been a Treaty On The Non-Proliferation Of Nuclear Weapons since 1970, and St. Ronald of Reagan's dream was a world without nuclear weapons. During the Cold War, the doctrine of mutually assured destruction pretty much kept the world's warring nations from pressing the big red button, and America has been following a de facto "no first use" policy for decades.

Trump baselessly tweeted in August that he had "renovated and modernized" our nuclear arsenal, because its granite countertops were out of date (all nuclear arsenal countertops are marble this year) and everybody agreed putting a few skylights in our missile silos would really brighten up the space. MAYBE he thinks that when he stomped his feet and clapped his hands in this July Pentagon meeting, after which his Sec State called him a fucking moron, the military immediately set to fixin' it up right nice to please President Pussgrab.

That did not happen.

OH SHIT Y'ALL, BREAKING NEWS, WE ARE SO SORRY, because we have apparently been fake news-ing you this whole time:

Our bad. Why must NBC keep reporting fake things designed to make Trump look like a fucking moron, when he's perfectly capable of doing that all by himself? (For the record NBC says Trump's denial can get fucked and is standing by its reporting.)

As usual, we must revisit Trump's best quote about nuclear weapons, about how he learned about the nu-cu-lars from his Uncle John, who was a smart guy:

“Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you’re a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are — nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right, who would have thought? — but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.”

Fucking moron.

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[NBC]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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