A Robert E. Lee Statue Time Capsule You Say? Well Well Well.
Back in September, the Commonwealth of Virginia removed the statue of Robert E. Lee in Richmond, Virginia, that was among the first of many monuments to the Confederacy. It was erected in 1890 as part of a deliberate effort to wipe away any remaining traces of Reconstruction. (To be sure, outright racial terrorism and violence helped with that job, too.) Earlier this month, the state began dismantling the pedestal on which the bronze eyesore stood, and last Friday, state officials announced they had found a time capsule inside the tower part of the pedestal, and that they would livestream the opening of the capsule. Here, have a look at what the historians got up to today!
So far, the historical preservationists have extracted some kind of almanac from the time capsule, as well as what appears to be another book. Or maybe multiple books, who knows?
CNN notes that historians had thought the time capsule would have been in the base of the pedestal, and that, according to the office of Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam, contemporary records suggested the time capsule would include "about 60 objects" that had been donated by 37 Richmond residents.
The lead box opened on video today didn't seem all that big, so for all we know, there may even be a second time capsule waiting out there to be found. Or not. The point is, we're determined to write a silly listicle of what might be in the capsule anyway.
Here's what we think might be in there:
- An engraved plaque from the Daughters of the Confederacy, reading, "LOL we fixed history to make the 'Lost Cause' seem all noble, but it was slavery, for sure."
- A map of all future Waffle House locations
- A collection of all the Confederate states' Articles of Secession, most of which explicitly stated they had left the Union to preserve the institution of slavery
- A letter from Confederate General and founder of the KKK Nathan Bedford Forrest saying, "Yes, I look exactly this insane"
- A collection of Christian School textbooks that say slavery was a bad thing, but saved many souls for Jesus and also gave us those beautiful old Negro Spirituals, so on the whole, it balanced out
- Yet another memo telling Donald Trump how to overturn the 2020 election
- One more book:
It's a cookbook!
OPEN TIME CAPSULE! OPEN THREAD!
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