Social Security Administration Just Stealing Tax Refunds at Random, Basically


One time, we woke up and checked our piddling bank account and we were like, “Hmm, extra money, DON’T MIND IF WE DO!” And then our banking overlords quickly got in touch with us and were like, oooooh, sorry about that, we made an oopsie and are now taking that money back please. And we’d already bought a Hoverround, and now what are we supposed to do?

Well, it seems the big bad fedrul gubmint is now doing the same, only not so much on the “quickly” part. Instead, the government that asks you to keep receipts of all your taxable thingies occasionally doesn’t do such a good job keeping its own paperwork in order. And sometimes it takes them a couple decades to figure that, okay, sorry we’re not perfect, DAD. The Washington Post tells the frankly infuriating story of Mary Grice, who as a wee little lassie got some Social Security survivors benefits, paid to her mother. Or maybe her dad's first wife, whom she's never met. But the feds say maybe, they're not sure how, Mary Grice's mom, or someone else entirely, might have been overpaid. Thirty-seven years ago. So they're attaching Mary Grice's tax refund now.

Now, Social Security claims it overpaid someone in the Grice family — it’s not sure who — in 1977. After 37 years of silence, four years after Sadie Grice died, the government is coming after her daughter. Why the feds chose to take Mary’s money, rather than her surviving siblings’, is a mystery.

Um, guys? You sorta really need to know who you overpaid for this. Are you just going after people named Grice? Here's a dead guy named Grice, maybe it was him why not? Or maybe it was Marion Grice, "Arizona State's touchdown machine?" Perhaps you meant to take away the tax refund of these things named grice, which we did not know existed until Wikipedia told us so.

Who knows! It’s a mystery, and mysteries are always fun to solve, especially when the bad guy turns out to be faceless federal bureaucracies what can just seize all your shit!

Is this even legal, you guys? Sure is, thanks to the FY2012 farm bill, which we will link to, but seriously, like you’re gonna read it. And now, with an election coming up in November, errybody in Washington is like, “Wasn’t me, bruh.”

No one seems eager to take credit for reopening all these long-closed cases. A Social Security spokeswoman says the agency didn’t seek the change; ask Treasury. Treasury says it wasn’t us; try Congress. Congressional staffers say the request probably came from the bureaucracy.

And then there’s this strange little bit of bureaucratic arcana:

The government doesn’t look into exactly who got the overpayment; the policy is to seek compensation from the oldest sibling and work down through the family until the debt is paid.

The oldest sibling must pay the blood debts of his or her father? This is not Westeros, and we’re pretty sure the Bible says a thing about “sins of the father” (it’s Ezekiel 18:20; there, now you don’t have to Google), but the Bible also says to love to feed the poor and clothe the nekkid, and we know that House Republicans see that as more of a general guideline than the inerrant and eternal word of God.

The really strange part here is that the woman in the WaPo story “works for the Food and Drug Administration,” which is going to make it difficult for Ben Shapiro and the rest of the gang at Ghost Breitbart’s Virtual Treehouse for Truth(™) to find how this is yet another example of B. Barry Bamz weaponizing the IRS for his unconstitutional decrees. But this is America, the land of innovation, so we’re sure they’ll come up with something.



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