Some Creep Set The Pizzagate Restaurant On Fire, Because That's Still A Thing.
Given that it's been over two goddamn years since a bunch of idiots came up with a completely bonkers theory about how Hillary Clinton and John Podesta were running a child sex ring through a Washington, D.C. pizza restaurant, which they claimed had a sex dungeon in its non-existent basement. You would think they'd be over it by now, that they would have moved onto some other weird shit. But you would be wrong. So, so wrong.
On Wednesday, someone tried to set fire to Comet Ping-Pong, the pizza restaurant at the center of all of this ridiculousness, the same restaurant where Edgar Maddison Welch showed up with an AR-15 military-style rifle, ready to investigate the non-existent dungeon. Police believe it was intentionally set.
Via The Washington Post:
A police report says investigators found several burned matches on the floor under where the curtain had hung in a backroom. The report says they also found a box of matches and an open, partially full plastic bottle of lighter fluid on a table.
The report says the curtains were destroyed in the fire, which was extinguished by staff members.
The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives on Friday evening released a photo of a man they are seeking to question in the incident. Federal authorities described him as a white man between 25 and 30 years-old, who has blonde hair, a mustache and beard and wore a blue and white varsity-style jacket and blue jeans.
Here is the photo the ATF released of the suspect.
James Alefantis, who owns the restaurant, says he doesn't believe the arson was connected to the conspiracy theory, telling WaPo "That was years ago." Alas, he would be wrong. The Pizzagate forum on Voat is still incredibly active, still very angry at Italian food, and they even have their own hot take on what went on with this arson fire.
They believe it was a false flag, and that Alefantis set the fire himself in order to get sympathy, on account of how upset he was by their threads on Voat, which they imagine he reads every day and gets extremely "butt hurt" over.
No, really. They believe that. One commente wrote:
We got under his skin so bad that we are with him 24 hours a day. We ride on his shoulder like a parrot and echo in his slippery little pervert head.
Of course, as user chemlord11 pointed out, the fire also could have been set in order to destroy the evidence of all their crimes. Evidence hidden right in those... curtains.
Someone over on Twitter had the same theory. I guess because people running child sex rings usually keep a bunch of files on said child sex rings that they keep in the curtains. It only makes sense.
And yet, still, Voat user ASolo described the fire as a "win."
Thankfully, hopefully noone was hurt and that it wasn't some dumb vigilante bullshit. With that being said what a lovely fucking win I hope it puts another good dent in his stress level AND pocket book and wrinkles the forehead on that smug "I smell poop on my lip" face of his.
F.U.C.K Y.O.U. you sad sad CIA child sexual extortion ring cell. Fuuuuuuuck You.
Honestly, I don't know what the hell any of that even means.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. In addition to her work at Wonkette, she also has a biweekly column at Dame. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse