Some Fool Named ‘Tudor Dixon’ Thinks She Can Come For ‘Big Gretch’ Whitmer

Some Fool Named ‘Tudor Dixon’ Thinks She Can Come For ‘Big Gretch’ Whitmer

Big bad Gretch.

Republicans are going with an “I know you are but what am I?” response to the January 6 insurrection. Yes, Donald Trump’s MAGA mob stormed the Capitol and attempted to overturn a presidential election, but what if Democrats did worse things, like speak in public sometimes with raised voices?

Michigan Republican gubernatorial candidate Tudor Dixon — yes, that’s a real person, not a character from my "Beverly Hills Teens" reboot script — commemorated the one-year anniversary of Trump’s insurrection with some nifty slander on social media. She posted a video labeling Gov. Gretchen “Big Gretch" Whitmer "Michigan's original insurrectionist.”

Now, let’s assume, just for the moment, that Tudor Dixon is a dishonest person. In such a scenario, which is highly likely, she would have selectively edited a two-minute video containing clips from a mostly peaceful 2012 protest at the state Capitol in Lansing. Thousands of union supporters had shown up to protest the Republican-controlled Legislature’s attempt to pass a right-to-poverty-work law.

Then-Senate Minority Leader Whitmer is seen shouting, “We’re going to fight! Are you?” Now, when Democrats say, “We’re going to fight," it’s almost always a metaphor that goes no further than a GOP Senate filibuster. When the MAGA GOP says, “We’re going to fight,” people end up dead and feces is literally smeared on the Capitol walls. There’s a considerable difference.

Here’s some actual footage from the 2012 protest because we’re not linking to Tudor Dixon’s nonsense.

The Detroit Free Press reports:

After shouting demonstrators crowded the rotunda, and as officers on horseback and in riot gear sought to control those outside, police locked the doors to prevent further entry. The video, which Laura Ingraham featured last week on Fox News, says Whitmer then "opened her ground-floor Capitol office window to let them in."

During an appearance on Laura Ingraham’s white power hour, Tudor Dixon called Whitmer the “queen of hypocrisy” because she apparently once supported protesters storming the Capitol. This is all big false equivalency energy, but that’s how Fox News rolls. Conservative media will spend this year minimizing the impact of January 6 while digging up 10-year-old skeletons involving Democrats. You’d assume that if Big Gretch were a violent insurrectionist Republicans might’ve mentioned it before last week.

Republicans are wallowing in the mud with the likes of Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, and Matt Gaetz, and they want to pull Democrats in with them so no one’s clean. It’s obvious and pathetic. For one thing, no Democrat has claimed that Americans don’t have a constitutional right to protest. Trump lovers were free to publicly whine and complain that Joe Biden had beaten their false prophet, but that wasn’t enough for the seditionists. They stormed the Capitol in an illegal effort to overturn the results of a free and fair election.

But we know all this. Here’s the part of the post where you’re probably wondering, “Who the hell is Tudor Dixon and why does she think she can governor better than Big Gretch?” Well, Tudor Dixon is a mother and businesswoman, much like Yr. Editrix. She’s the host of "America’s Voice Live" on the Real America’s Voice cable network, she has a business propagandizing to middle schoolers, and she has zero — as in none — political experience that would qualify her for the position she seeks. However, she believes in "common-sense solutions to everyday Michiganders’ problems.”

She also offered this treacle when declaring her candidacy:

"We must liberate Michiganders from lockdowns and unleash them to innovate, work, and reap the fruits of their labor," Dixon said. "We must accelerate the learning of our students, not stall and slow down their education. We must concentrate on solving big problems, like reducing crime, increasing economic opportunity for everybody, and making high-quality healthcare more affordable and accessible.”

I can’t wait for the debates — at this point, she's expected to lose the primary to a former Detroit police chief, but never say die! — when Tudor Dixon literally starts twirling, twirling, twirling toward freedom.

“Liberate Michigan” is a not-very-subtle reference to the anti-lockdown protests in 2020. Later that year, more than 12 people were arrested for allegedly conspiring to kidnap Whitmer and put her on trial for treason. Trump still never let up on the stochastic terrorism he aimed her way. It would seem that Tudor Dixon is Michigan's reigning monarch of hypocrisy.

[Detroit Free Press]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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