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Some Guys: Obama Teleported to Mars With Us

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The latest ploy to draw skepticism (or bizarre, unwanted fandom) to our $99 Million Dollar Man, President Obama, is to suggest that he teleported to Mars during a top-secret CIA mission to explore the planet in the 1980s. According to two guys named Andrew D. Basiago and William Stillings, Obama, then known as one "Barry Soetoro," joined them and seven other young Americans, including the current director of DARPA, in a project that involved teleporting to the Red Planet through a so-called "jump room." The claim is apparently serious enough that the White House has taken the time to deny it ever happened to Wired magazine's Spencer Ackerman.


As "chrononauts," Obama and friends were able to visit the sometimes quite hot, sometimes very cold planet far more cheaply than the current U.S. budget would allow. Rather believably, the two men claim, the jump room was adjacent to Los Angeles International Airport! Less helpful for the defense is that the program held its classes at a college in the town of Weed, California, very near the spiritual enclave and alleged vortex region Mount Shasta, where the water is said to have healing powers and that type of thing.

Last year, Obama assured us that we, too, could teleport or probably some other less mentally straining form of -port to the planet at some point within the next 20 years, but since then, NASA's come under budget cuts, so any "space taxi" trips to Mars or elsewhere will likely be done in conjunction with private organizations (Virgin Galactic, to name one). In the meantime: try using your wash closet as a jump room and tell us what happens! [Exopolitics via Wired]

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Video screenshot, CBS 4 Miami

The mass murders at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut, and at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, are still killing people. Two survivors of Parkland killed themselves in the past week, and this morning, the body of the father of one of the Sandy Hook children was found in Newtown. And something like 35,800 guns will be sold today, if 2019 stats are comparable to 2018 sales figures. But cheer up -- without Barack Obama scaring everyone with his promise to take all the guns, that's down 16 percent from the highest gun sales in history in 2016. Then again, despite the lower gun sales, there were nearly 40,000 deaths caused with firearms in 2018. It was the third record year in a row. We're Number One.

The news has been just horrifying. On March 17, Sydney Aiello, 19, who'd been on campus at Stoneman Douglas the day of the 2018 massacre, killed herself. She'd been a close friend of one of the girls who died in the shooting, and had been diagnosed with PTSD, according to her mother. She had started college but found it hard to just to sit in classrooms because of her fears that a gunman might burst in. Then, this weekend, another Stoneman Douglas student, a male sophomore, as yet unidentified, killed himself -- like Ms. Aiello, with a gun.

Today, police in Newtown found the body of Jeremy Richman, a neuropharmacologist and the father of Avielle Richman, who was only 6 years old when she was one of the 20 children and six adults murdered at Sandy Hook in 2012. Richman and his wife, Jennifer Hensel, had founded a nonprofit to research the neurological problems that might lead to violent behavior. The foundation had an office in the complex where Richman's body was found. The couple were also among the Sandy Hook parents suing Alex Jones for spreading the false conspiracy theory that the Sandy Hook massacre was faked as part of a plot to take all the precious guns away.

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