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Barack Obama continued his "give speeches from the ruins of once-great industrial cities" tour today, visiting the stereotypical ruined rust-belt pit of Buffalo. He told the assembled crowd of unemployed people (the entire population of western and upstate New York) that something or other would be "the future," and he purchased the local food item from the local eatery which sells the gross local food item -- "Buffalo wings," in this case. Greasy throwaway bone-parts of a chicken corpse, slathered with a corn-grease margarine and garnished with mysterious stalks of a cold vegetable that can only be sampled after being used as the "spoon" in a giant bowl of "blue cheese salad dressing." And then some lady put the sexytime moves on Barack Obama because he's so damn fine.


Imagine living in Buffalo. Or, more accurately, "Wherever you live will be like Buffalo very soon, if it's not already, and the only measurable difference will be in terms of snowfall."

Anyway, imagine your future: You, along with other unemployed people who somehow got the gumption to leave the slum-house and the Tyra Banks show or whatever for a little while, you go to the local fast-food place -- the one place a politician's advance team can find that's not another goddamned Dunkin' Donuts or convenience store with drunk old men staggering around outside and cars with their hoods up -- and there you see this elegantly dressed "young man" (he's older than you, but whatever, poor people age rapidly as if you didn't know), and he's somebody famous, maybe from that American Idol, so you run over and start the sexytime talk. Maybe he will give you some good lovin', because he's in Buffalo and what, really, are the options?

The crowd seemed especially glad to see Obama -- especially one Luann Haley, age 45.

"You're a hottie with a smokin' little body," she told the president.

And then the Secret Service pumped her full of lead and left her body in the chicken-fat dumpster, the end.

SORRY, WAIT: And then the FreeRepublic people made a bunch of nigger jokes about the pictures, the end. [USA TODAY]

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FINALLY. Of course, we say "finally," because we haven't been behind the scenes in the House Judiciary and Intelligence committees to witness the negotiating and wrangling firsthand, so we don't know what it's taken to make this happen, but clear your calendars for July 17, because Bobby Mueller is goin' to Congress!

Committee chairs Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler sent the letter late yesterday, accompanied by a subpoena, for Mueller to testify at 9 a.m. Eastern on July 17, which is a Wednesday, so you will presumably not be busy with brunch. The hearings for each committee will be back to back, after which members of Mueller's staff will meet with committee staff behind closed doors.

Schiff told Rachel Maddow last night that it should not be viewed as a friendly subpoena, because as we all know, Mueller has been very reluctant to become the star of the political circus this will surely create. However, he's gonna have to suck it up, because as we all saw after what happened when Mueller addressed the nation for 10 whole minutes, there is great value in actually having Mueller breathe life into his own work, for an American audience that hasn't read his 448-page report. (And we don't blame them/you! We probably wouldn't have read it all if it wasn't our job. It would probably be on our "list," like "someday I am going to watch 'The Sopranos' start to finish finally. And then I will read the Mueller Report!")

Point is, it needs to happen on live TV, where people can gather around at work and on the train and in the Fantastic Sams while they gets their hair did, and let this highly respected public servant tell the story of how America's most hostile enemy attacked the 2016 election in order to help Donald Trump, how the Trump campaign was positively orgasmic over that reacharound, and how Trump criminally obstructed the investigation into that hostile foreign attack at every turn.

And because Robert Mueller is a patriotic American who respects the rule of law and our institutions, he will be complying with the subpoena, because of fucking course he will.

Right off the bat, we have a couple of questions:

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Beds at the 'temporary' shelter in Homestead, Florida. US HHS photo.

The House of Representatives passed a $4.5 billion emergency bill to fund detention of undocumented immigrants and asylum seekers yesterday, but the bill's demands that government meet minimal standards of humane treatment led Donald Trump to threaten a veto, because no one puts cruelty in a corner. The bill passed largely along party lines, 230-195, with four progressive Democratic first-term representatives opposing it because they believed the machinery of the New Cruelty shouldn't get a single dollar more. Trump prefers a bill already passed by the Senate, which would provide a similar level of funding $4.6 billion), but lacks the House bill's crazy radical requirements that migrants be held in less horrifying conditions than have been reported in the last week.

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