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Somewhere, Someone Is Thinking Up A Nonsensical Sex Act And Calling It 'Top Kill'

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  • Right now, valiant BP scientists are top-killing the heck of out of the all-spewing oil well in the Gulf of Mexico! Yup, they're sure giving their all at killing ... the top ... of the thing ... in a top kill. Which involves stone-cold pumping mud into the durn hole, we guess. Will it work? Is there any way for so-called "scientists" to know how this is working, or whether it's working at all right now? Probably not! But many nerd-types are hopeful! They believe that if this gambit were to fail horribly and explode, that would have happened already. So, fingers crossed that all we have to deal with is the terrible disaster that's already happened, and not thousands and thousands of gallons of new disaster daily! [NYT]
  • Justice Scalia admits that he finds other judges boring and irritating, and is actually really glad Kagan isn't a judge, maybe now people will talk about something other than fucking judging in the break room, Christ. [ABC]
  • A bunch of states are suing over the health care bill because they say it will cost them more money, but it turns out that the Feds will actually be paying for almost the whole thing, and will be paying much more to all those southern and western states that are doing all the whining, according to a report from the a foundation named after a sinister mustachioed German monarch. Why does the Kaiser seek to impose socialism on us and sink our merchant shipping with his U-Boat fleet? [WaPo]
  • So, if you're running for governor as a Republican in South Carolina, you know what's even more politically damaging than having sex with some gross blogger? Having a "yes" vote for TARP on your record, apparently. [WaPo]
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