Sorry, Losers, You're Stuck With Elizabeth Warren Kicking Ass In The Senate
Elizabeth Warren, she is our goddess queen progressive posterlady legislative badass hero. We love her, and we'd love to see her be the boss of all the things: Congress, the Supreme Court, the White House, the banks, the schools, every government agency that has letters in its name, and your mom. But since we cannot elect Elizabeth Warren Czarina of The Universe, we are quite content to watch her kick ass, take names, and yell at various bad guys, in her polite and concise Harvard schoolmarm way, as the senior senator from Massachusetts and official extra-special message-crafter for the Democratic Party. And now the pathetic losers behind the "Run Warren Run" campaign have reluctantly agreed to settle for that too:
With Warren no more likely to enter the race today than she was in December — when Democracy for America (DFA) and MoveOn.org started their “Run Warren Run” campaign — the two major liberal groups have decided to suspend their efforts.
On Monday, the groups will “rest their case” by delivering to Warren more than 365,000 petitions they collected encouraging her to run. Afterwards, they will suspend the Run Warren Run campaign, which included on-the-ground organizers and field offices in Iowa and New Hampshire.
Warren has been asked a thousand times whether she might run for president in 2016, and she has said "no" each time. But some True Progressives refused to take no for an answer, which does not seem very True Progressive of them, does it? So they opened offices and printed posters and, LOL, collected signatures! -- for petitions!!! -- to bully Warren into running for president even though she said "no" again, didn't you jerks hear her the first thousand times? Maybe or maybe not, but they figured if they DEMANDED she run, she'd eventually give in, lay back and think about the weather, or at least make them some sammiches.
In the few years Warren has served, she's already managed to make income inequality such a major talking point that even Republicans are pretending to care about it. She's become a WAY powerful force among her Democratic colleagues, like that time she convinced them to defeat President Obama's nominee for Treasury undersecretary, Antonio Weiss, because he was too Wall Street for her liking. Not so easy for a senatorial newbie to rally opposition against her own party's president, but she did it because she's that good. Which is why Wall Street's biggest banksters have threatened Democrats, to try to make her shut up, but she will NOT shut up, that is why the Senate is a most excellent place for her to keep not shutting up, why would anyone who is supposed to be a True Progressive not want that?
Now, defeated by reality, the Draft Warren crybabies are trying to take credit for Elizabeth Warren being Elizabeth Warren:
While failing to get Warren to run, the groups nonetheless said they were successful in injecting issues championed by the senator into the 2016 presidential race.
“The Run Warren Run campaign has changed the conversation by showing that Americans are hungry for Elizabeth Warren’s agenda,” said MoveOn.org executive director Ilya Sheyman.
Puh-LEASE. All those times Elizabeth Warren epically speechified on the campaign trail, or the Senate floor, or on our television devices -- all of that was just prelude to the fantastic Run Warren Run campaign that really got people talking about the issues Elizabeth Warren has been talking about for years? Should she also say thank you and send an edible basket to the people who've been trying to be the boss of her, for making her ideas so popular, even though she seemed to be doing just fine without their help?
All due respect and no offense, but screw you obnoxious whiny Draft Warren infants right in your la-la-la-la we can't hear you True Progressive ears, for annoying the hell out of the rest of us since you said "But but but!" after the first time Sen. Warren told you "No." She has a job to do, and that is being awesome in the Senate, teaching Democrats how to not suck, and helping her party keep the White House and take back Congress. And she doesn't need your petulant foot-stamping, to raise money and grow your email lists, to get that done. So thank god we won't have to hear from you anymore.
Now go ahead and buy some sweet Elizabeth Warren swag. It might make you feel a little bit better.