We're having severe technical problems! Hooray!
9:50 -- The plan for Baghdad: take back the night. Midnight basketball. He's talking about the war, so cut to Lieberman, who is trying not to giggle.
9:52 -- "Chaos is the greatest ally. Their greatest ally."
9:54 -- "Whoever you voted for, you did not vote for failure." Someone tell George Allen supporters!
9:58 -- Volunteer civilian reserve corps -- they would help ease the strain on the military. In a time of war, the civilian service corps all get to go back home. It's like signing up to serve in perpetual opposite day. Did he just say "service guarantees citizenship"?
10:00 -- Jesus christ we were hoping this would last like 20 minutes. Anyway, we're going to start a war on AIDS and malaria now, so expect Africans to start dying in even greater numbers now.
10:01 -- LAURA BUSH IS TOTALLY GOING HOME WITH DIKEMBE MUTUMBO. Dude, Bush just declared him a US citizen maybe? Now he has to join that bullshit "service corps" thing!
10:02 -- Ok, who the hell had "baby einstein" on their drinking game? 'Cause they're getting wasted. And they're very prescient. After the speech, we want Chris Matthews to ask everyone what they think Bush's favorite Baby Einstein DVD is ... "World Animals"?
10:03 -- "I believe that children are the future."
10:04 -- In the crowd tonight, a full year of Drudge report headlines. Subway hero! Mark Foley, where ya at?
10:04 -- This military dude is the cop from House, we're pretty sure. Tommy something? He grew up pumping gas or soemthing, Bush is just singing a Springsteen song.
10:06 -- God bless. Then he totally brushed across Pelosi's chest on the way to the handshake. Now on to Webb firing a gun at his television or whatever.