Sounds Like Matt Gaetz's Buddy Joel Greenberg 'Bout To FLIIIIIIIIIIIIP!

Crime

This is not Joel Greenberg. OR IS IT?

Oh fiddlesticks, Matt Gaetz may not be having a very good afternoon!

We mentioned this morning in our daily CrotchGate update that people in the know had been hearing Gaetz's scuzzy old many-times-indicted buddy Joel Greenberg might just flip on Gaetz to get a good cooperating deal from prosecutors. This would seem to make good logical sense, since, as of Greenberg's latest superseding indictment, he faces 33 federal charges, including sex trafficking of a child, stalking, aggravated identity theft ... bribery ... wire fraud ... theft of government property ... you know, just some charges! You name it, he's charged with it. Unless you name something he's not charged with, of course, in which case you should stop doing that.

Matt Gaetz, who is reportedly being investigated for sex trafficking of a minor, may have done that with the same minor Greenberg is charged with sex trafficking. After all, according to Politico, these two wild and crazy guys "shared more than one girlfriend."

So anyway there was a hearing today in Greenberg's case. And CNN reports that in that hearing, both Greenberg's attorneys and prosecutors indicated Greenberg's case is probably heading toward cooperation and a plea deal.


"We believe this case will be a plea," said assistant US Attorney Roger Handberg.

Greenberg's attorney, Fritz Scheller, requested a plea date by May 15. If a plea is not reached, they could move to a trial in July.

Oh, sounds like he's about to flip like a common Flipper!

So it was that Scheller marched out of the courthouse and looked at the journalists gathered and said, "I am sure Matt Gaetz is not feeling very comfortable today." Yes, he said that out loud, where we all could hear him.

The entire exchange is actually very funny, so we transcribed it:

JOURNALIST: Does Matt Gaetz have anything to worry about?

SCHELLER: Does Matt Gaetz ... that is such a broad ... [LAUGHS] ... um, does he have anything to worry about? And you're asking me to get into the mind of Matt Gaetz, right?

JOURNALIST: Well, from your mind.

SCHELLER: From MY mind.

ANOTHER JOURNALIST: Based on what your client knows.

SCHELLER: Based on what my client knows. OK. See, I thought if I kept talking and talking I would avoid these questions [...] I'm sure Matt Gaetz is not feeling very comfortable today.

Oh, Fritz, you gossip! Dish some more!

We are a not a lawyer, so we don't speak fluent lawyer-ese but we are pretty sure Scheller is saying Matt Gaetz is fucked. At least that's what we think we heard there. We could be wrong.

More Gaetz news when it spooges all over the place again.

OPEN THREAD!

[CNN]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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