Sovereign Citizen Streams Self Stealing Vial Of Vaccine, To Save Us All From 'Poisoning'


Currently making the rounds of "patriot" social media is this nutso video of a Minnesota gentleman, one Thomas Humphrey, walking out of a drugstore with what appears to be a full vial of the Johnson & Johnson coronavirus vaccine. He states that he's going to have it analyzed in a lab, so everyone will know what's really in it. Here you go, courtesy of the nice folks at the "Patriot Takes" Twitter account, which documents all sorts of weirdass rightwing social media.

Nothing like recording yourself committing an act of theft! Mr. Humphrey says he just wants to read the label on the vial, then grabs the vial and leaves, with the alarmed CVS employee following him. No problem, because after all, he's taking his vaccine, get it?

I will be taking my vaccine. We're going to go test this, we're gonna bring it to the lab, I'm gonna investigate here. We'll trade. You can take the mask and I'll be taking the vaccine here. Don't touch me. This is my vaccine guys...this is poisoning people, so uh, just taking my vaccine...

He was very proud of his achievement!

Now, we haven't been able to chase down a lot of information on Mr. Humphrey, except that he has apparently pulled a similar stunt at a walk-in clinic recently, too. On Tuesday, he posted a video to Facebook of his visit to "take his vaccine," by which he also meant grabbing the vial, shouting to others in the clinic that the vaccine would kill them, and then leaving in a hurry.

Not entirely sure where this was recorded; an alert person on Twitter pointed out to me that the clinic seems to be in Minnesota or in Western Wisconsin, because that's where Allina Health operates.

In both instances, staff at the clinic and the drugstore appear to have called the police, though we haven't seen any information on whether Humphrey has been arrested.

Mr Humphrey is also a sovereign citizen, and posted video Thursday of his encounter with two incredibly patient police officers, because he doesn't have a license plate or a driver's license. (He explained that he cut up his driver's license and returned it to the DMV, because he declined to enter a contract with the state.) We were impressed by the male cop, who clearly has studied up on sovereign citizen loonlore.

And yes, he even told the cops that any information they found about him in their system referred only to the fictional legal entity that has his name, not to him, because that person does not exist. He also warned that if they arrested him, he would have to bill the cops $1,000 a minute for the entire time they detain him. after all, he's a private American national, and no law is binding on him except the Constitution, as he understands it. He also explained at one point that he's the Minnesota coordinator for the National Action Task Force (like his shirt says), a club of people who insist they're very serious investigators of corruption and stuff. Their website doesn't seem crazy at all.

Spoiler: They arrested him and he went to jail, briefly. Later, he posted another video proclaiming, "My kidnappers have set me free" from the Anoka County jail.

Humphrey said he'd been charged with obstructing an investigation, but it's not clear to me from the video whether that was related to the vaccine thefts, or simply to his unregistered minivan (it's private property, and he has not agreed to any contract to register it. Don't you understand, "driving" means being engaged in commerce, while he's freely traveling on the land, a God-given right of all.)

Mind you, they can't arrest him for anything, because as an American he's entitled to a vaccine, and he simply chose to walk out with an entire vial of the stuff.

Thank goodness, before all that happened, Humphrey got the two vials of stolen vaccine mailed off to a lab, carefully documenting part of the process on Facebook, and of course thanking God for all the help.

Before he managed to make that contact, Humphrey posted video of himself walking into "a lab" Wednesday, though he didn't actually have any luck getting the "poison" analyzed. No doubt because they're all in on the plot together, you know.

Last night, Newsweek published a piece about Mr. Humphrey's vaccine filching, based β€” like our piece here β€” entirely on the social media trail. Unfortunately, the piece leaves out all the sovereign citizen stuff, including the traffic stop. Instead, it suggests the arrest was indeed related to the vaccine thefts:

Shortly after Humphrey posted his initial COVID-19 vaccine theft video, he posted an additional video with the headline "My kidnappers have set me free."

He was arrested, booked, and then released from the Anoka County Sheriff's office with a charge of obstructing an investigation. The Anoka County Sheriff's department did not immediately respond to inquiries from Newsweek.

Honestly, that's not at all clear to me from Humphrey's videos, in which he mostly rants about his right to travel freely without the permission of tyrants, and about how he doesn't need government-issued identification because he has a registered card with his photo on it that's just as good.

The card, he says, was issued by the embassy of his nation, and copies have been sent not only to the US State Department, but also to law enforcement in all 50 states, so really, the local cops should know this. And you'd better believe he insists, while sitting in the lobby, that the county sheriff is in fact the highest legal authority in the land. Some passing sheriff's deputies were unwilling to back him up on that, but he assures us the National Action Task Force β€” or at least Mr. Humphrey β€” is developing a "Law Enforcement Reeducation Program" to teach cops what the real law is. "We're one and the same," you see, but just on opposite ends of the educational spectrum. But the reeducation will be mandatory, he explains, once Constitutional authority is restored to He the People.

So we're thinking Newsweek has perpetrated a hell of a big post hoc fallacy here by suggesting (but not actually stating) that Humphrey was charged in connection with the vaccine thefts, rather than the traffic stop. Other sources have repeated and even enhanced the implied causal connection, like the Daily Beast:

As he got in his car, he said: "Praise the lord guys, I got a full vial this time. Full vial. And uh they're definitely calling the cops." Indeed, the Anoka County Sheriff's office later arrested, booked and released him on a charge of obstructing an investigation.

The thing is, Humphrey doesn't talk about the vaccine thing once, just about how law enforcement is completely ignorant of the fact that if someone doesn't agree to their laws, then they have no authority. In the second video, he also rants about how the cops couldn't prove that he was driving "with criminal intent."

While I was summarizing all this, Humphrey took to Facebook to complain that everyone has it wrong, and that liars in the media have conflated the arrest and the vaccine theft. He links to the video of the traffic stop, saying "Click link to see why I went to jail"

We'll let you know how this great big wad of stupid plays out!

UPDATE: In reply to my question on Facebook, Humphrey says the vaccines never came up at all during his arrest, and that the officers are going to be in big trouble for arresting him under laws he never consented to.

That "13th amendment citizens/slave" appears to refer to the bizarre sovereign citizen belief that before the end of slavery, there was no such thing as a US citizen, only citizens of the states, and that the 14th amendment converted everyone into slaves of a federal corporation. Happliy, anyone can reject their "14th amendment citizenship" by doing a lot of bullshit legal word magic. RationalWiki 'splains that:

Sovereign citizens believe that they are not subject to any United States federal law, including being subject to the jurisdiction of federal courts, but are subject to natural law and common law. By contrast, Fourteenth Amendment citizens are subject to federal and common law, but can become sovereign citizens by taking the same action as sovereign citizens.

A few take it further and claim that only the original text of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights are legal, and all other amendments are invalid, including the abolition of slavery and letting women have the right to vote.

Mr. Humphrey hasn't replied to my question about whether he's billed the county or the arresting officers for violating his rights, but he did post a completely legal 9 page nonsense document that he says enables him to do so.

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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