Donate

In this great age of anus burgers and bacon-covered doughnuts, most of us will be killed by diabetes -- and that means it would probably be smart to start donating to diabetes organizationsright now. And next week, there's a way to help fight diabetes in two ways: Grab life by the balls and participate in the 6th Annual Dodging Diabetes Charity Dodgeball Tournament next Sunday in Rockville.


There's nothing quite like curing diabetes by throwing a ball at strangers, most of whom probably have excellent eating habits and/or good genes. Discounted registration for the tournament of $350 per team has been extended through March 7, which is VERY soon. If you choose to wait because you are lazy or hate fat people and those with genetic bad luck, you have until March 11 at 11:59 PM to register. After March 7, the registration goes up to $500. Yes, that’s a lot of money, but this is the price you have to pay if you want to try to save America from its pork bender.

All you have to do is find 6-10 friends, enemies, or do-gooders, preferably with stable blood sugar levels, and convince them to join you in throwing balls, for charity. This shouldn’t be too hard considering that dodge ball isn't kickball, a sport that’s reserved for the desperate and lonely.

Get it together, form a team, do it for the insulin manufacturers union, and then go eat a doughnut with bacon on top to congratulate yourself for all your hard work. And, if you ate pancakes earlier this week to stop leukemia/lymphoma, we assume The Forces of Good are very thankful for all your charitable goodness. [Dodging Diabetes]

$
Donate with CC

Fellow Wonkers, this last week of horror has been wearing on us all, because here we are in a world where the "president" of the United States has ordered that migrant children be taken away from their parents at the border, and is simultaneously proud of it (for his base) and cravenly blaming it on Democrats because even he knows it's morally reprehensible. But what the hell can we do about it, we are all keening, beyond calling our senators and representatives and posting sadness on Twitter, the latter of which is of dubious utility to anyone, and mostly depressing?

Keep reading... Show less
Border Patrol photo
$
Donate with CC

There are perks to being the only Harvard professor willing to shill for the Bush League Mussolini. Everyone else has to haul ass to the Fox studio and sit for hair and makeup. Not Alan Dershowitz! He just parks his laptop in Pee Wee's playhouse and Skypes in that rant. Is he even wearing pants? We hope never to find out!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc

SUPPORT THE CAUSE

Donate