Stacey Abrams Will Make Georgia Count The Damn Votes If It Is The Last Thing She Does
Meet the new archetype of the modern Democrat. She's smart, she's fierce, and she's not here to let the GOP walk all over her while she begs for bipartisanship or tries to be extra best good friends with the racist ass GOP. Oh, did I mention she's a WOMAN, she's black, and she is completely UNBOTHERED by Republicans trying to shame her into going the fuck away? It is likely she would tell you "HELL NO" like Miss Sofia* if you order her to stop fighting until the LAST VOTE IS COUNTED. She is our Spirit Queen. She is suing Brian Kemp's corrupt ass and trying to shine a light on his corrupt little ways.
Stacey Abrams is not taking vote suppression lightly, and neither is the Georgia Democratic Party. In fact, she is absolutely the fuck not taking that bullshit at all. What Stacey Abrams WILL be taking is all the names after she gets good and done kicking some ass in court. The Georgia Governor race is still to be decided, but we are certain you recall all of the reporting Yr Wonkette has done on Brian Kemp's Burgling of Black votes. So we'll see what happens!
But first of all, BREAKING NEWS!!1!!!!1!!
A federal judge has ordered Georgia take steps to ensure provisional ballots aren't improperly rejected and to wait until Friday to certify the results of the midterm elections that include an unsettled race for governor.
Totenberg also ruled that Georgia must not certify the election results before Friday at 5 p.m., which falls before the Nov. 20 deadline set by state law.
Second of all, BREAKING NEWS AGAIN!!11!!!!!!!
From the Washington Post:
A federal judge has ordered a populous Georgia county not to reject absentee ballots because the voter's birth year is missing or wrong.
The order issued Tuesday by U.S. Judge Leigh May says rejecting absentee ballots solely because of a missing or incorrect birth year violates the Civil Rights Act.
She ordered Gwinnett County election officials not to reject those ballots and to count any that were cast in the Nov. 6 midterm election. She also ordered Gwinnett County to delay certification of its election results until those ballots have been counted.
Ohhhhhhhh. Brian Kemp might need to hold off on buying new furnishings for the Governor's Mansion with taxpayer money, because if all the votes are counted and the race tightens just enough, we'll be heading for recounts and possibly the runoff Abrams has been fighting for. This gives us a bit of time to do more investigating into Kemp's shenanigans while he was the Secretary of State overseeing his own election, which is good, because he resigned last week and won't be available to burn those boxes of missing ballots that he could possibly be hiding in a garage somewhere. We will continue to keep you posted on all the latest in this case.
Indeed, Kemp is a fucking asshole of the highest caliber, and he has done his damnedest to cheat his natural white ass off while "overseeing" (Get it? It's like he's a plantation overseer) the election he was an actual candidate in at the time. Seems legit! Kemp had one objective, namely to ensure that enough Black, Latino, Asian American, and Pacific Islander votes got tossed to allow him to punch his ticket for a MAGA train ride straight into the Governor's mansion. And like most arrogant, mediocre, ineffective, and lazy as hell Republican "winners" he spent most of his energy on stopping people from voting rather than, you know, EARNING THEIR DAMN VOTES. Republicans really despise the "rabble" (especially "The Blacks") being able to kick their asses out of the lovely jobs that fuel the GOP grift machine. Disgusting plebs like us are simply not smart enough to be grateful for the $12.50 annual tax cut they gave us, apparently.
It obviously chapped Kemp's ass that the Georgia Democratic Party has been filing lawsuits to force the state to count ALL THE VOTES, even the ones Kemp tucked in a box probably definitely labeled "VOTES I STOLE FROM THE NEGROES." Well, tough shit.
We will have another post this afternoon explaining the legal intricacies of these rulings from Wonkette's resident lawyer Five Dollar Feminist, but suffice it to say Republicans are STILL nasty, shady, fucked up politicians. But at least now Dems are willing to bring AT LEAST a machete to a knife fight. And from now on we will hopefully stay on this righteous path of making those bastards work their asses off to get away with their nonstop cheating, of exposing their vote theft scams, and hopefully preventing the dreaded death of our democracy.
*Miss Sofia was a character played by Oprah Winfrey in the movie The Color Purple. Watch this movie and you will finally know what black women mean when they call you "Miss Millie."
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