Stephanie Grisham’s Shocking Memoir Reveals Melania Trump Is Rancid Tire Fire
Former part-time White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham has written a memoir, presumably documenting how much effort went into not holding any press conferences, and as we predicted last week, some juicy excerpts are dropping in advance of the book's release. Grisham's memoir is called, I'll Take Your Questions Now: What I Saw in The Trump White House, which is hilarious because she really never took any questions as press secretary, at least not in the traditional sense of "taking questions." Even the “now" part of the title is a stretch because the memoir probably isn't in written in an interactive question-and-answer format.
Grisham quit the job she didn't actually do in April 2020 and was replaced by professional liar Kayleigh McEnany. She returned to her former boss, Melania Trump, serving as chief of staff for someone who was barely the first lady. According to a “scoopy preview" from Daniel Lippman at Politico, Grisham reached out to Trump on January 6, shortly after Donald Trump's mob had stormed the Capitol.
"Do you want to tweet that peaceful protests are the right of every American, but there is no place for lawlessness and violence?" Grisham asked the first lady.
A minute later, Melania replied with a one-word answer: "No."
Because Melania Trump is a garbage human, who even Disney villains would find distasteful.
According to Grisham, Trump was busy at the moment preparing for a White House photo shoot of a rug she had selected. We're sure she was very proud of how well the rug tied the room together, but an insurrection was taking place fewer than two miles away.
Trump's response reportedly “broke" Grisham, who while shiftless and incompetent might actually possess a human soul. Grisham, who resigned soon after the text exchange, claims she'd defended Trump against “accusations that she was a Marie Antoinette-type dilettante." That seems unfair to Marie Antoinette, who was not the villain people assume. She gave liberally to charity, founded a home for unwed mothers, and sold off the royal flatware to buy grain for the needy during the 1787 famine. She probably would've called off a violent mob if asked. She also never said “Let them eat cake" or“I really don't care, do you?"
Now, Grisham writes, she sees Melania like "the doomed French queen. Dismissive. Defeated. Detached."
Seriously, Marie Antoinette wasn't so bad for French royalty. Melania Trump is pure evil.
Grisham also reveals that Trump snubbed actual first lady Dr. Jill Biden during the transition because, like her husband, she believed the election was “illegitimate." She also thought the same of Barack Obama's birth certificate. Trump told Grisham “something bad happened" when, out of the blue, Joe Biden mysteriously won an election polls showed him leading for months.
The reaction from Melania Trump's office to Grisham's memoir is classic Trump, where she calls out someone she willingly employed for years as a corrupt scumbag.
"The intent behind this book is obvious. It is an attempt to redeem herself after a poor performance as press secretary, failed personal relationships, and unprofessional behavior in the White House. Through mistruth and betrayal, she seeks to gain relevance and money at the expense of Mrs. Trump."
Grisham apparently sucked so much that Trump hired her at least twice. That seems oddly generous for someone who's on record as not really caring. Trump grossly references Grisham's “failed personal relationship" with former Donald Trump aide Max Miller, who Politico reported "pushed [Grisham] against a wall and slapped her in the face in his Washington apartment after she accused him of cheating on her." Miller has denied the allegation.
Melania Trump knows from “failed personal relationships." Her former friend Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, who Melania threw under multiple high-speed buses, also wrote a book about how awful she is. She supported her thesis by secretly taping Melania's supervillain monologues, including her "who gives a fuck about Christmas decorations" rant.
Grisham is prepared for the full-frontal fallout once her memoir's released. A publishing source said, "Stephanie has secrets about [Donald Trump] that even the first lady doesn't know," which doesn't tell us much. You could possibly stump Melania if you asked her his middle name.
So, in conclusion, Melania Trump is as big a sociopath as you'd expect from someone who willingly married Donald Trump.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."