One Fish Two Fish Stephen Miller's Blue Fish
Donald Trump's underlings seem to be coming in for more individual public ridicule than staffers in previous administrations.
One night, after [Stephen] Miller ordered $80 of takeout sushi from a restaurant near his apartment, a bartender followed him into the street and shouted, "Stephen!" When Miller turned around, the bartender raised both middle fingers and cursed at him, according to an account Miller has shared with White House colleagues.
Outraged, Miller threw the sushi away, he later told his colleagues.
Ha! Throwing away perfectly good food that he already paid for oughta learn that lousy sushi place! Miller probably then went home and ordered a new Keurig machine to destroy, just to rub it in.
The Washington Post tells us that Donald Trump His Ownself is not at all pleased to learn that some of his aides haven't fought back when confronted by evildoers yelling at them. He was apparently very grumpy that Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Kirstjen Nielsen both "backed down" when confronted; considering that Sanders was told by the owner that the staff had decided not to serve her (but comped the cheese plate), we're not sure what Trump expected her to do -- stay and demand to be served, call a lawyer, or summon an ICE raid on the kitchen to look for illegals?
Fortunately, Great Civility Expert Newt Gingrich knows exactly what Trumpers must do: Call the police if anyone yells at them, because the police are like Miss Manners with truncheons.
"You file charges and you press them," Gingrich said. "We have no reason to tolerate barbarians trying to impose totalitarian behavior by sheer force, and we have every right to defend ourselves."
He described the president's opponents as those who "went through a psychotic episode and are having the political equivalent of PTSD. And when they wake up in the morning to the genius that Trump is, he tweets and they say, 'Oh my God! He's still president!' And they get sicker."
Referring to Trump's advisers, Gingrich said, "They should take solace in the fact that we must be winning, since these people are so crazy. They used to be passive because they thought they were the future. Now they know we're the future, and it's driving them nuts."
He is such a smart, Luntzed Up man. Nice to see he remembers his own list of terms to help Republicans define all narratives, from 1996:
Hey! That tweeter was me!
For all his complaints of totalitarianism, Newt sure sounds like an admirer of how Communist Roosha handled dissent: Anyone who disagrees with the self-evident virtue and truth of the regime is obviously insane, and in need of forced psychiatric medication. Liberals aren't the other side in a political debate, they are an enemy that must be eliminated, because look how insane they are.
We also have to say that of the Trumpers mentioned in the Washington Post piece, Kellyanne Conway actually comes off looking like the least delicate flower of the bunch. Her husband George said, "She has been getting a harder time from me about working for this administration than walking down the street," and he ought to know. As for Conway herself, she seems to manage a little heckling herself just fine -- when some rando at an Orioles ballgame yelled she was famous for all the wrong reasons, she says she went over to the guy:
"I'm fluent in ignoramus," she said. "What did you say?"
Then she took her own photo of him and announced that she was adding it to her "collection of underachieving men."
Sure she's an asshole -- but at least she's not a whiny asshole who throws away 80 bucks worth of perfectly good food while pouting about incivility.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.