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Original photo by Gage Skidmore, Flickr

Donald Trump's underlings seem to be coming in for more individual public ridicule than staffers in previous administrations.

One night, after [Stephen] Miller ordered $80 of takeout sushi from a restaurant near his apartment, a bartender followed him into the street and shouted, "Stephen!" When Miller turned around, the bartender raised both middle fingers and cursed at him, according to an account Miller has shared with White House colleagues.

Outraged, Miller threw the sushi away, he later told his colleagues.

Ha! Throwing away perfectly good food that he already paid for oughta learn that lousy sushi place! Miller probably then went home and ordered a new Keurig machine to destroy, just to rub it in.


The Washington Post tells us that Donald Trump His Ownself is not at all pleased to learn that some of his aides haven't fought back when confronted by evildoers yelling at them. He was apparently very grumpy that Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Kirstjen Nielsen both "backed down" when confronted; considering that Sanders was told by the owner that the staff had decided not to serve her (but comped the cheese plate), we're not sure what Trump expected her to do -- stay and demand to be served, call a lawyer, or summon an ICE raid on the kitchen to look for illegals?

Fortunately, Great Civility Expert Newt Gingrich knows exactly what Trumpers must do: Call the police if anyone yells at them, because the police are like Miss Manners with truncheons.

"You file charges and you press them," Gingrich said. "We have no reason to tolerate barbarians trying to impose totalitarian behavior by sheer force, and we have every right to defend ourselves."

He described the president's opponents as those who "went through a psychotic episode and are having the political equivalent of PTSD. And when they wake up in the morning to the genius that Trump is, he tweets and they say, 'Oh my God! He's still president!' And they get sicker."

Referring to Trump's advisers, Gingrich said, "They should take solace in the fact that we must be winning, since these people are so crazy. They used to be passive because they thought they were the future. Now they know we're the future, and it's driving them nuts."

He is such a smart, Luntzed Up man. Nice to see he remembers his own list of terms to help Republicans define all narratives, from 1996:


Hey! That tweeter was me!

For all his complaints of totalitarianism, Newt sure sounds like an admirer of how Communist Roosha handled dissent: Anyone who disagrees with the self-evident virtue and truth of the regime is obviously insane, and in need of forced psychiatric medication. Liberals aren't the other side in a political debate, they are an enemy that must be eliminated, because look how insane they are.

We also have to say that of the Trumpers mentioned in the Washington Post piece, Kellyanne Conway actually comes off looking like the least delicate flower of the bunch. Her husband George said, "She has been getting a harder time from me about working for this administration than walking down the street," and he ought to know. As for Conway herself, she seems to manage a little heckling herself just fine -- when some rando at an Orioles ballgame yelled she was famous for all the wrong reasons, she says she went over to the guy:

"I'm fluent in ignoramus," she said. "What did you say?"

Then she took her own photo of him and announced that she was adding it to her "collection of underachieving men."

Sure she's an asshole -- but at least she's not a whiny asshole who throws away 80 bucks worth of perfectly good food while pouting about incivility.

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[WaPo / Image adapted from Gage Skidmore, Creative Commons License 2.0]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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You guys, hi, hello, it is almost the holiday weekend, so we are going to share you a real video posted last night by "Doctor" Sebastian "Don't Call Me A Nazi" Gorka, that hilarious old knucklecuck. We guess now that he had to give up (or gave up voluntarily!) his Fox News contract, he just makes videos for the Twitter. Hoo ... ray?

Anyway, Gorka is super-excited that Donald Trump issued that order last night, giving Bill Barr all kinds of new powers to expose the Deep State for what it is and PROVE once and for all that the gremlins who live inside Trump's diarrhea are correct when they say Hillary ordered the Deep State to do an illegal witch hunt to Trump, yadda yadda yadda, you've seen these people huff paint before, we don't have to type it all.

Here is the video, after which Wonkette will either transcribe it OR we will provide our own dramatic interpretation. Which one will it be? We don't know! Would you be able to tell the difference between the two? We don't know!

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We want to say right here at the outset that we hate Julian Assange. Aside from the sexual assault allegations against him, and aside from the fact that he's just a generally stinky and loathsome person who reportedly smeared poop on the walls at the Ecuadorian embassy in London, while reportedly not taking care of his cat, an innocent creature, he acted as Russia's handmaiden during the 2016 election, in order to further Russia's campaign to steal it for Donald Trump. All signs point to his campaign being a success!

So we are justifiably happy when bad things happen to Julian Assange. We are happy his name is shit the world over, and that any reputation WikiLeaks used to have for being on the side of freedom and transparency has been stuffed down the toilet where it belongs. We are happy he looked like such a sad-ass loser when the Ecuadorian embassy finally kicked him out and he was arrested.

And quite frankly, we were OK with the initial charge against him recently unsealed in the Eastern District of Virginia. If you'll remember, he was charged with trying to help Chelsea Manning hack a password into the Defense Department, which is not what journalists do. Journalists do not drive the get-away car for sources. Journalists do not hold their sources' hair back while they're stealing classified intel. Assange is essentially accused of doing all that.

Now, put all that aside. Because -- and this is key -- journalists do publish secrets they are provided by sources. That's First Amendment, chapter and verse, American as fucking apple pie and fast-food-induced diabetes. And that is what much of the superseding indictment of Assange unsealed yesterday was about. (And nope, it wasn't about anything regarding Assange's ratfucking the 2016 election or Hillary's emails. Why would the Trump Justice Department prosecute anything about that? It's all about the older Chelsea Manning stuff, the stuff the Obama Justice Department considered charging Assange with, but ultimately declined, because of that little thing called the First Amendment.)

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