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Former Breitbart publisher and Trump adviser Steve Bannon has found himself a new mission in life, according to NBC News. Bannon wants to "reform" the Roman Catholic Church the way he remade American conservatism, albeit perhaps with fewer memes of Pepe the Frog -- that part is still being decided. But definitely with an eye to telling nonwhites to fuck off, and making Holy Mother Church a Safe Space for Nazis again. Except, does it have to be so feminized? Holy FATHER Church would be much better.

Foreign correspondents Richard Engel and Kennett Werner bring us the straight dope on Bannon's dream of making Catholicism White Again, in a teaser report ahead of Engel's "On Assignment" TV show scheduled for Sunday night at 9 Eastern. Bannon explains he has a perfectly good reason for wanting to rescue Catholicism from that mean old Pope Francis and his SJW agenda:

He's the administrator of the church, and he's also a politician [...] This is the problem. ... He's constantly putting all the faults in the world on the populist nationalist movement.

That's a pretty victim-y way to whine about a pope whose real agenda seems to have a hell of a lot more to do with steering the institution toward caring for the least of those among us, like that radical social justice warrior from Galilee did a couple millennia back. But sure, Steve, make it all about YOU. And Francis definitely has talked about the dangers of unfettered capitalism, the need to care for immigrants and refugees, and yes, he's even condemned racism, damn his popish eyes.


Bannon, ever the practiced troll, warns that Francis is bound to doom the Church because it hasn't done enough to address the problem of sexual abuse by priests and the organized cover-up of the abuse by the Church's hierarchy. It sure is nice of him to start caring about that now -- we tried finding any Breitbart condemnations of the cover-up published during the tenure of Nazi Pope, but it appears only to have become a matter of urgency for rightwingers since Francis became pope. Until then, the most prominent rightwing Catholic voice tended to be Bill Donohue blaming the gays for corrupting the church, and of course women too.

So sure, Bannon is Very Concerned about the coverup of sex abuse. And who is one of Bannon's closest allies in the Church?

Bannon has found an ideological ally in conservative Cardinal Raymond Burke, a former archbishop of St. Louis who was demoted by Francis and has supported calls for the pope's resignation.

Burke and Bannon reportedly met at the Vatican in 2014 and are both involved in building an incubator for budding right-wing ideologues in Italy. Bannon described the project as "an academy that brings the best thinkers together" to train "modern gladiators."

Oh, Cardinal Burke! Yr Wonkette remembers him! He was demoted because he was a bit TOO big on insisting the Church must purge the gays and oppress the women, gladiators being a serious Christian and straight occupation.

So who is Cardinal Raymond Burke, and why do we hate that fucking guy? Well, your first clue is he was created cardinal by Pope Ratzi, the Nazi Pope, and that guy was the worst. How did Burke so endear himself to the shithead wing of the Church that he was created cardinal? By loudly blustering that American Democrats like Nancy Pelosi and John Kerry must be refused Communion, because they were hellbound abortionists what did all the bortions. "But wait," you are thinking, because you are an idiot, "the Catholic Church is also against the death penalty! Shouldn't all the Republican Catholics have been denied Communion too?" You are adorable. No.

Seems there was something else rather notable about Burke, what was it, now let's see...

He was some fuckin' bullshit on letting child molesters come work in the St. Louis Archdiocese, for years and years and all the years.

Yeah, THAT was it!

So yes, Bannon is leading a totally good-faith effort at "reforming" all the mercy and socialism and Francis out of the Church, because he's worried about Western Culture being protected. He's even writing up a curriculum for some Stone Age throwbacks at a rightwing Catholic school in Italy, and damned if he doesn't believe he'll be the triumphant leader of a rightwing purge of the the Church's dangerous commies like the Pope.

Here's a little preview of Engel's Sunday night show, via MSNBC and the Morning Joes today. God, Joe Scarborough is an ass, but Engel's program looks good anyway:

Steve Bannon Is Going After Pope Francis | Morning Joe | MSNBC www.youtube.com

Thank heaven there are GOOD CATHOLICS out there who know that Christianity is all about punishment, white supremacy, and keeping women in their places. And maybe bringing back the Latin Mass.

[NBC News / Reuters]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Cripes the News has been awful lately! And so Yr Editrix suggested we find some good, positive news. Especially after we pitched writing a Wonket about this Mother Jones story on how global warming may be killing the whales, even though Donald Trump knows their prince. (Reply: "Nope. FOR SURE NOT THAT.") And so, as a reminder that a gooder world is possible and apropos of nothing at all that definitely didn't set your Editrix off on Twitter, where she has been stewing and bitching most shrillfully about the 2016 election and the 2020 election and any terrible similarities thereof and thereupon and therefore and thereto, we present a collection of videos of Elizabeth Warren yelling at big banks and calling for them to be broken up and their criminal operators to go to jail. Puppies and kittens will only get you so far, after all.

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