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Steven Seagal and Sheriff Joe Arpaio Use Tank, Bomb Robot In Raid, Kill Guy's Animals, Get Sued

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Rad dudes Steven Seagal and Sheriff Joe Arpaio (R-The Best)drove a tank through some jerk's front wall and then, with their bomb-robot and 40 deputies, accidentally killed a hundred of the jerk's animals that they were supposed to be saving from his alleged cockfighting, and now this guy's got the nerve to sue them, just for doing their job! (Their job being to have a reality show called "Fat Sad Old Steven Seagal Thinks Movies Are Real," which A&E has since pulled from its schedule.) FRIVOLOUS LAWSUITS! TORT REFORM! TRIAL LAwyERZ! AIYEEE!


Jesus Llovera alleges that America's Finest Sheriff, Sheriff Joe, conducted himself unprofessionally in order to garner publicity. Now STOP RIGHT THERE, LLOVERA! Libel! Libel! And et cetera.

He was handcuffed and taken outside, where action-movie actor Steven Seagal waited, clad in camouflage and sunglasses and hoisting a rifle.

"I looked up and saw his face," Llovera said. "It was very strange."

[...]

At the time of his arrest, Llovera said, Seagal walked him off his property to a van but did not speak to him. Seagal went off to do media interviews. Show producers asked Llovera to sign a release allowing them to use footage of his arrest. Llovera said deputies removed his handcuffs twice as producers asked him to sign. He refused.

"They said, 'It will be good for you, so everyone can see your animals,' " Llovera said. "I said I didn't want to."

Llovera, who was already on probation for a misdemeanor charge of "being present at a cockfight," denies he was raising his more than 100 roosters for cockfighting, which, well, ahem.

[Arizona Republic, via TPM]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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