Stop Dicking Around And Start Taking Advantage of Summer In DC

Well crap. Somehow it’s almost the end of July. This is when you start thinking, "what the hell have I been doing with my summer?" DON’T LET YOUR SUMMER GO TO WASTE. Our political leaders have traveled, had affairs, and resigned; stars have died; Iran blew up; Honduras went all crazy. You deserve to have just as fulfilling and scandalous a summer as the rest of the world.

Seriously, you have less than 7 weeks until Labor Day. Don’t miss:

  • Jazz in the Garden: You, your friends, jazz, and alcohol. This is fun. You should go to this. It happens Fridays through September 11, and starts at 5PM. Oh, and if the weather calls for a torrential downpour, it will happen, and your Jazz in the Garden experience will not be a fun one, as many DCers learned firsthand a few weeks ago. Check the weather -- and pay attention to it -- before you go.
  • Outdoor Movies: Seeing a movie outdoors is far more enjoyable than seeing one inside an overly air-conditioned theater. Eighties film have a monopoly on the outdoor movie experience this summer. Check out either the "I Love The 80s" Film Festival out in Rosslyn or the Capitol Riverfront 80s Film Festival by Navy Yard. But wait! The Comcast Outdoor Film Festival begins August 14, and it screens movies you may actually want to see, including The Dark Knight and Slumdog Millionaire.
  • Happy Hours on Patios: Cheap alcohol is good, and it tastes even better when you drink it outside, everyone knows that. Don't-miss patios include the ones at Cleveland Park Bar and Grill,Bourbon, and Perry's.
  • The Corcoran Gallery of Art: Admission to the museum is FREE on Saturdays. Looking at art makes you cultured and therefore more likely to have a summer romance. Plus, they have a great collection and even though the recession may last forever, their generosity may not...
  • The Nationals: The Nats are a terrible, terrible, terrible team, but surprisingly, watching them play is most enjoyable. Tickets can be as cheap as $5 and they sell Ben's Chili Bowl and beer. Yum. Before the game, check out the Bullpen, a park area directly across the street from the main entrance to the stadium that provides fun for the whole family.  That is, this is where you drink before the game, because it's so close to the park that your inebriated ass will for sure be able to make it to your seat.
  • Kayaking/Rafting: Do something outside that does not involve drinking or eating. This is possible, yes. Rent rowboats, kayaks, canoes and bicycles from Fletcher's Boat House and enjoy nature in DC (if the Potomac actually counts...), at least until it gets too humid and it starts to thunderstorm.
  • Fairs: Fair season starts July 26 and even if the city kid in you is urging you to stay far far away from rural Virginia and Maryland, the Fairs have funnel cake, monster trucks (!!!), pie-eating contests, petting zoos, and lots of other things that surprisingly don't happen in the District on a daily basis. The first fair is the Loudoun County Fair on July 26.

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc