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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today!


Trump's top economic adviser, Gary Cohn, announced his divorce from Trump's White House, citing irreconcilable differences shortly after Trump scuttled an intervention with business leaders. News of Cohn's resignation sent global markets and futures tumbling all night, while White House officials warn of dangerous days and recall "bad ideas...that were thankfully killed dead" by Cohn.

Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan are shaking in their suits at the thought of Trump starting a trade war, with Ryan quietly warning House Republicans not to tap the glass on the White House.

A couple of Democrats in the Rust Belt are voicing their support for Trump's trade war, saying that cheap Chinese steel has put small mill towns between a rock and a hard place. Sigh.

Robert Mueller has apparently flipped Lebanese American businessman and UAE lobbyist, George Nader, who had some curious meetings in the Seychelles with Erik Prince.

Somebody on the House Intel Committee tipped off Trump's smarmy lawyer Michael Cohen to some confidential information about the THE DOSSIER in December. I wonder which cow-fucking SOB it could have been?

After Obama's former chief of staff called him a lazy asshole, Mitch McConnell says he's "perfectly comfortable" with how the GOP stonewalled the Obama administration after being warned about Russian fuckery in 2016.

The Justice Department is suing California over its sanctuary city policy, prompting Democratic leaders and lawmakers in California to wonder why conservatives are suddenly so bitchy about states' rights.

Late last week the US Fish and Wildlife Service quietly withdrew its blanket ban on elephant trophies; now Erik and DJTJ can go kill as many animals as they want and don't even have to leave the bloody tails at the bin in the airport.

Stormy Daniels, the porn star who was given $130,000 by Trump's lawyer Michael Cohen not to talk about ALLEGEDLY flogging Trump with a copy of Forbes, is claiming their NDA is void because it doesn't have Trump's signature -- and now there's some speculation about dick pics? Earlier this morning, Daniels's attorney went on TV to say they definitely banged.

Military officials are wondering if Cadet Bone Spurs will ever march his ass down to the front lines in Afghanistan for a grip and grin with US troops, noting that Obama had already gone to war zones several times a year into his presidency.

Democrats flooded the polls in Texas's primaries, leaving many House races headed toward run-off elections. However, while turnout was higher than usual in Texas, analysts are cautioning that many Republicans remain deeply entrenched in local seats. [Final Results]

Ted Cruz is brushing off a primary victory by Democratic opponent Beto O'Rourke, calling his win an extreme leftists plot to take over the government, open up the borders and steal all the guns.

Just as voting began, Texas politicos started complaining about local GOTV efforts, accusing school districts of "unlawful electioneering" with their provision that encourages teachers to drive people to the polls by allowing them to wear jeans to work for two weeks.

Officials are warning that Puerto Rico is facing a mass exodus as the island continues to struggle to support basic infrastructure.

Russia's new US ambassador is getting the cold shoulder from Capitol Hill, while Trump's White House and State Department warmly embrace the Kremlin's talking points and propaganda.

In response to a ProPublica investigation, Trump's golf courses have decided not to put the presidential seal all over the place. Laws are why you can't have these things.

Michelle Obama went dancing with 2-year-old Parker Curry, the little girl who was enamored with her official portrait. Last night she went on CNN to call Michelle Obama your new queen. IT IS ADORABLE!

And here's your morning Nice Time!

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or lying in a gutter taking photos.

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Republicans are in a pickle. Midterms are coming up and the party in the White House usually loses seats in those elections. It doesn't help their chances that their guy Donald Trump frolics through fields holding hands with self-made Russian dictator and coincidental poisoner Vladimir Putin, who our own justice department believes attacked our mostly free elections and our true national monument, the Internet.

If you're as old as I am, you'll recall that back in the 1980s, the whole Republican brand involved not trusting the Ruskies, and they were especially disappointed when Kevin Costner turned out to be one in No Way Out. Now, the current Republican president is talking like some kind of crazy commie lib, bashing the FBI and giving the benefit of the doubt to a former KGB agent. During an interview Sunday where he wore a hat with "USA" in big letters on it, presumably so someone could easily return him if he got lost on the field trip, Trump went so far as to call the European Union a "foe" of his country, which if you believe his hat is supposedly the United States not Russia.

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We feel like we say this a lot during these dark days of the Trump era, but WHAT IN THE HOLY MOTHERFUCKING FUCK DID WE JUST WATCH? And how in the hell can anyone who claims to give a shit about this country be OK with the public tongue-bath Donald Trump just gave Vladimir Putin on live TV?

The reviews are starting to roll in:

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