Stormfront Neo-Nazis Want Your Kids To Catch Pokémons, Jews
What the actual fuck.
Ever since Donald Trump first announced his intention to run for president of the United States, neo-Nazi sites like Stormfront have seen a massive surge in traffic from people beginning to discover just how much they have in common with white supremacists. In fact, they've even had to change servers in order to accommodate all the new recruits!
Clearly feeling the adrenaline rush from realizing how much they have to offer an unfortunately large segment of the population, Stormfront has set its sights on drawing even more people into their web of hate. Well, not people so much as children! Yes, they have decided that it is time for your American children to join the Hitler Youth.
This past Tuesday, Stormfront writer Andrew Anglin was thrilled to announce that "[a]n enterprising Stormer has been handing out fliers at Pokémon GO gyms for the purpose of converting children and teens to HARDCORE NEO-NAZISM!"
No, really! That is their plan. They are all going to go to whatever the hell Pokémon gyms are and distribute flyers to children about how they need to convince their parents to vote for Donald Trump so that "hooknosed Jews" and black people don't ruin their lives and kill their mothers. Fun!
"The race war is coming. The Jews are going to release the ni--ers on you, they're going to burn your cities. They're going to rape your mother and your sister. They're going to butcher you all. [...]
The first step is to vote for DONALD TRUMP. You are probably too young to vote, but you need to do everything you can to support his rise to GOD EMPEROR. [...]
ADOLF HITLER was a great man. Just as you want to catch all the Pokémon, he hunted a different type of monster: Jews.
In order for America to survive, all of the filthy Jews must be rounded up and put in camps. All of the blacks must be shipped to Africa.
There are actually way worse parts in this than I even transcribed, if you can believe it.
Now, you may be wondering why on earth a bunch of internet nazis want to hang out with preteens, so Anglin explains!
The Daily Stormer was designed to appeal to teenagers, but I have long thought that we needed to get pre-teens involved in the movement. At that age, you can really brainwash someone easily. Anyone who accepts Nazism at the age of 10 or 11 is going to be a Nazi for life.
You know what? Not true. Remember those folksinging Nazi twins "Prussian Blue"? Totally not even Nazis anymore. So there goes that theory!
Anglin suggests that those hoping to participate in the Nazi Pokémon Go Challenge "Get your MAGA hat on, and use a skull-like face mask (this will make you appear extra awesome as well as protect your identity – this isn’t illegal, but someone might take your picture)."
Yes, and then those kids will go back to their parents and tell them that a creepy adult wearing a skull mask wants them to vote for Trump and gave them this charming racist flyer, and then certainly their parents will want him to be president. What a great idea! Parents love it when adults in masks approach their children and try to get them to join hate movements! What a great idea! Pokemon? How about UBERmon??? It works if you work it.
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. In addition to her work at Wonkette, she also has a biweekly column at Dame. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse