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Just a couple of Republican presidents


Donald Trump addressed the National Republican Congressional Committee Dinner on Tuesday night, and he dropped a BREAKING BOMBSHELL on the Republicans in attendance, about Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president of the United States, who is an example of somebody who has done an amazing job that is being recognized more and more, Trump has noticed, much like Frederick Douglass:

Great president. Most people don't even know he was a Republican, right?

RIGHT? The Republicans, who, as Time snarkily points out, call themselves the "Party of Lincoln," probably because they all drive luxurious Town Cars, all slid out their seats in orgasmic glee to find out that the president who freed the slaves was a Republican. "We should use this in an ad," the GOP strategists probably thought, "to once and for all convince The Blacks to leave the Democrat Plantation," an idea that none of them had ever had before in their entire lives.

Trump added:

Does anyone know? A lot of people don't know that.

Christ, what an idiot.

Trump, understanding that he had discovered something completely new, set his brain wheels in motion on what the GOP could do with his startling discovery:

We have to build that up a little bit more, let's take an ad, let's use one of those PACs. Those PACs. You never know what the hell's gonna come out of those PACs.

Uh, we think they have their marching orders, and it is an ad about Abraham Lincoln being a Republican! It could be the big surprise at the end, like the reveal on "The Apprentice" when we find out that the black contestant is going home.

Here's MSNBC's Joy Reid, translating Trump's words in a way we all know too well at this point:

Oh, to be the aide who whispered this one in Donald Trump's ear! Sarah Huckabee Sanders or whoever you are, you're getting TWO crunchy well-done Trump steaks with ketchup and rainbow sprinkles after work today, for being such a good aide!

Anyway, yeah we guess there are a few people out there who don't know Abraham Lincoln, of the Party Of Lincoln, was a Republican. They are probably Trump voters. Meanwhile, Trump has accomplished something remarkably mediocre, in discovering this information. He's gone from literally not knowing anything except vaguely that Lincoln was the president of America, and graduated to the very "needs improvement" place where the average teabagger Republican is, which is thinking you have a real "GOTCHA!" for stickin' it to the liberals, that you can pull out and say, "HA! Lincoln freed the slaves, and he was a R-E-P-U ... aw fuck it, I ain't know how to spell it, but he sure as hell wasn't no liberal! Also, reckon this means we can still be racist, because Lincoln."

Idiots like that have literally no idea that the parties have fully switched places on issues like race since the time of Lincoln, and because they have literally no idea, they have no idea that the rest of us know it.

In short, Donald Trump is now doing teabaggery at a Kindergarten level, and that is pathetic.

Sweet Jesus, what a fucking moron.

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[Time]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Corey Stewart, the Minnesota transplant to Virginia who's made protecting "Confederate Heritage" a top issue in his campaign for the US Senate, accused a nosy New York Times reporter of breaking into the apartment of one of his aides. It's a terrific accusation, because while there's no evidence at all and the story makes no damn sense, that doesn't matter at all to people who'd vote for Corey Stewart. They already hate the evil media and know those nasty reporters are capable of all the depravity in the world.

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Hey, remember that hilarious time when Paul Ryan and Kevin McCarthy got caught on tape joking that LOL, Donald Trump and Congressman Dana Rohrabacher were totally on Putin's payroll? WaPo got the goods:

"There's two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump," McCarthy (R-Calif.) said, according to a recording of the June 15, 2016 exchange, which was listened to and verified by The Washington Post.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher is a Californian Republican known in Congress as a fervent defender of Putin and Russia.House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) immediately interjected, stopping the conversation from further exploring McCarthy's assertion, and swore the Republicans present to secrecy.

It's funny 'cause it's true! ALLEGEDLY. Earlier this month, Congressman Lubyanka Rohrabacher told Fox reporter Elex Michaelson that DNC hack was obviously an inside job.

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