Stupidest Guest Blogger On Internet Catches Wonkette's Unspeakable Hypocrisy On Stoner Obama Story
Well, dear readers, we have been BURNT! As Gateway Pundit guest blogger Kristinn Taylorreveals, Yr Wonkette ran a story Saturday noting that B. Barry Bamz looked a little worse for the wear in his Olympics interview with Bob Costas. And indeed, we asked if he was "high as fuck" or just really, really tired. (For the record, we actually thought he was really really tired, but we didn't say that because it's not that funny.) Ah, but then, mere hours later, we also featured the Stupidest Man on the Internet's take on the story as part of our Derp Roundup, apparently because we just can't resist "attacking" Gateway Pundit and its mission of bringing light to important issues like whether the President of the United States is high as fuck on the marijuana.
And so, you see, we are Huge Hypocrites for covering the "story" ourselves and mocking another website's coverage of it. Except for how, you know, the two pieces were written by different people, and how both of those writers think that the chances that the POTUS is potted up on weed are actually vanishingly small, although he sure looked bad on TV. Jim Hoft and other rightwing screamers are pretty sure they've spotted the Preznit all choomed up on national television, and want an investigation. We would call that a difference.
Still we have to give guest blogger Kristinn Taylor props for his gotcha here: "Wonkette acknowledges the hypocrisy but ran with it anyway because, well, Gateway Pundit." As incontrovertible proof, he cites this line from the Derp Roundup piece, in which we linked to the earlier Wonket:
We debated whether to even lead with this, since after all, even libtard communist Wonkette thinks Barry Bamz looks like he was high as fuck...
Which was, of course a line from Yr Editrix's column, except the original puts it a little differently:
Before Twitchy SNAP’S and YA BURNT’S with an “even libtard communist Wonkette thinks,” we would just like to point out that we don’t care if Bamz was high as fuck, or that he delivered a rambly, weird, off-message interview...
We would explain why this is less an "acknowledgement of hypocrisy" than it is a "joke," but we're already bored with Mr. Taylor's reading comprehension fail. We're more amused by this, which we hope is intentional. After defending Jim Hoft's "catastrophic apostrophic error in the headline" (Olympic's) and his use of an unaltered screen grab from the interview to illustrate what so many people were alarmed about," Taylor gasps,
But wait a minute… Wonkette ran it’s own story about the former Choom gang member.
That was a thing of beauty, Mr. Taylor.
In any case, we really can't disagree with Taylor's characterization of the difference between Yr Wonkette and the Gateway doofus crew's view of Olympics Choomgate:
“Libtard communist” sites like Wonkette may not care if the man whose finger is on the nuclear trigger is “high as ****”, but some of us do care, more so than we care about stray apostrophes, unless we’re talking about Frank Zappa’s Apostrophe.
We're going to go waaaay out on a limb here, and say that the main reason we're not too worried about it is that unlike the Gateways, we are not a bunch of paranoid morons who think tired rambly Preznit = Blockbuster Drug Allegation. On the other hand, apostrophe misuse is real, and it is Srs Bsns.
A larger issue: are rightwing bloggers even allowed to like Zappa?
Also, too, #paythefuckup.
Update: We mistakenly assumed that Kristinn Taylor was a woman; he is not. We have updated the article and apologize for the error.
Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He is willing to entertain the possibility that Kristinn Taylor is a performance artist.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.