Stupidest Jim Hoft's Brother On The Internet Can't Believe We're Not Executing Democrats
Joe Hoft, the idiot brother of Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft, wants to know why we aren't killing Democrats yet for plotting to overthrow Donald Trump, because after all, the conspirators who assassinated Lincoln all danced the Hemp Fandango, didn't they? Yes, he's as serious as any of the idiots at Gateway Pundit ever get.
Here's the historical "logic," boldface and all:
President Trump is arguably the best US President since Lincoln, the last great President removed from office by Democrats.
Lincoln was assassinated after holding the country together and freeing Democrat owned slaves during the great Civil War. President Trump is too good for the Democrats. He has an 'America First' agenda which the traitorous Democrats and elites despise.
It's time that we Americans stand and call this what it is. This is another Democrat attempt to remove a President through any means necessary. It is seditious and treasonous. The Democrats in the 1860's that were in on the Lincoln assassination were killed in their escape or hanged high. ["hanged high" is highlighted in red at the site, because that is what the color of blood is, indicating Joe Hoft is quite serious indeed -- Dok]
We are entering a new phase when it's time to hold all seditious and treasonous Democrats who actively act to remove President Trump from office to the same fate!
Mind you, that's just the preface to the article. It gets even stupider after that. But the piece represents an apotheosis of sorts for the historical idiocy pushed by charlatans like Dinesh D'Souza and "Prager U": The Democrats of a century and a half ago supported slavery and Jim Crow, and party realignment never happened, so today's Democrats are exactly the same, and probably are seditious traitors, too. Just like that great Democratic hero John Wilkes Booth.
Also, please pour one out for poor Richard Milhous Nixon, who you might think would fit the category of "removed from office by Democrats." We aren't sure whether Hoft doesn't mention him because he wasn't a great president, or because Republicans had the good sense to tell Nixon it was all over.
What follows is a pretty bog standard rightwing version of the Impeachment Story, as filtered through the wingnut lie machine: Fiendish Democrats, unable to accept that Hillary Clinton lost the election,
connived a plan to remove President Trump through the made up crime that Trump 'colluded' with Russia to win the 2016 election. This was nonsense as this 'crime' isn't even a crime in our statutory books.
This is EXACTLY LIKE how in 1860, Southern Democrats, sore over losing the Civil War and their slaves, "connived a coup attempt to overthrow the government and in so doing assassinated President Lincoln." Joe Hoft is really big on using "connive" as a transitive verb, which it is not. The Deep State has even gotten to the dictionary.
Oh, also, the media is part of the conniving coup, so it's kept all the true facts from you, about how no part of the Mueller probe was legal. Never mind that the impeachment inquiry isn't based on the Mueller Investigation, it's all part of the coup attempt, you see?
Every now and then, Hoft seems to remember he started out comparing impeachment to Lincoln's assassination, so he'll throw in a WTF paragraph like this:
Good men like General Mike Flynn and Roger Stone were mere casualties. Like the Union and Confederate soldiers in the Civil War, to hell with life and liberty, move on with the coup and secession from the Union.
Also, Fort Sumter was made of STONE, don't you see? Also, several generals died in the US Civil War, which was caused by Democrats.
Hoft also gives us a curious portrayal of Mueller and his coup plotters. On the one hand, they could twist the law so thoroughly that the investigation ruined the lives of "literally thousands of individuals close to President Trump for any crimes they could connive[.]" But despite that ability to run roughshod over Real Justice, Mueller could never really name any real crime Trump did! He probably forgot, while making up nonexistent Russians and blaming them for interfering in the election, which never actually happened.
With Mueller's all-encompassing yet futile plot, the Deep State went and fabricated more "evidence" against Trump, largely through the treasonous means of people doing their jobs illegally and treasonously:
Deep State operatives in the White House were spying on the President. Another gang of them listened in on the President's call and then attempted to change the transcript of the call. The President wisely secured the official transcript so it couldn't be edited.
Yes, it was wise indeed.
Then it's time for the big finish: The only proper remedy to an attempted coup is trial for treason, because this isn't really constitutional impeachment, it's exactly the same as an assassination, only without the actual killing. (Also please ignore the inconvenient fact that most people with "sic semper tyrannis" tattoos today probably wear MAGA hats.)
Like John Wilkes Booth, these seditious traitors think they are in the right. They are blinded by their hate for President Trump based on fear that their actions during the prior Obama Administration will get called out.
Today these actors push forward another plan to remove President Trump from office. The Democrats who run the House are in on it. Although no laws were broken (by the President) they believe the President must be impeached.
It's pretty stirring history, as long as you ignore pesky details like the fact that John Wilkes Booth wasn't motivated by the fear his actions during the prior administration would be called out. Hell, when I mentioned this idiotic thing on Twitter, actual Civil War historian Kevin Levin (SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE: BUY HIS NEW BOOK!) pointed out, "As far as I know John Wilkes Booth identified as a Know Nothing in the mid-1850s, but I don't believe he ever voted as a Democrat." See? There can be value even in looking at pure nonsense, because I never knew that about Booth.
Also, Levin added, "The article looks like a complete waste of time." Which we already knew, but let's see this through to the final graf, which once more has a blood-red heading and boldface, because it's IMPORTANT HISTORICAL THINKENING:
Americans have had enough!
It's time for investigations and indictments of these Deep State actors who are attempting this coup of our government. Representatives and Senators in on it should not be exonerated. Hang them if that is what the law requires. Americans want justice! Without justice we have no country!
And of course the law demands that the traitors seeking to use the constitutional means of making Mike Pence president must be hanged, because after all, as one commenter points out, it's right there in black and white in 18 U.S. Code § 2385, which outlaws "Advocating overthrow of Government," so honestly, anyone with an "Impeach the motherfucker already" bumper sticker should probably be rounded up and shot, too, even if in actual practice laws don't work that way.
Also too, apart from the open desire to see some Democrats swinging from a rope, the whole piece is in tune with the ravings of famed history-debaucher Dinesh D'Souza, who thinks today is pretty analogous to 1860-1865.
Hey, something occurred to us: In some very important ways, impeachment is not really much like civil war and an assassination at all, so we doubt that either D'Souza or Joe Hoft have a very good analogy after all.
Never mind, then. Except for how a not insubstantial portion of Trump supporters are really looking forward to spilling some traitors' blood to restore American unity. That seems concerning, just a skosh.
But that thing about Booth voting for the Know-Nothings, a bunch of nativist immigrant haters just like today's Democrats who are just like 1860s Democrats, sure was interesting to learn.
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.