Because we have no choice, here's the latest filth:

* TIME and Newsweek declare the GOP finished, with polls showing big majorities of voters prefer Dems in every category except "Which party is best at fucking little boys?"

* The L.A. Times confirms at least one case of actual physical sexual intercourse between Foley and a former page, once again proving this is just a hysterical overreaction to some "naughty e-mails." The good news for Foley is that the former page was 21 years old when the lovin' finally went down.

* Jesus Freak GOP windbag James Dobson says Foley's IMs are nothing to worry about. Just a "joke," really. The kind of family-friendly joke that ends in a good old-fashioned exchange of semen between a congressman and a former page.

* The key to the scandal and cover-up is Scott Palmer, Hastert's longtime chief of staff and ... roommate.

* There are Rumors on the Internets about this situation.

* Among other denials, Palmer denies he had a crisis meeting with Foley CoS Kirk Fordham over the "Foley shows up drunk at the page dorm hoping to get some action" problem. This was at least four years ago.

* Yet another ex-page with a "Foley's a perv" story has been found, and this dude is actually fighting in Iraq. A young Republican on the Hill actually enlisted and went to Iraq?

* Famous dancer Tucker Carlson says there's another congressman who has a page problem, and the name will come out. Sadly for gay-obsessed Republicans, it's a heterosexual situation.