It's the morning after one of the most thoroughly unobjectionable Super Bowls we can remember, and by unobjectionable, we kinda mean boring. The football was football, and there was one call toward the end that some people are calling extremely questionable, but we're not talking about that. The commercials were OK, but not great, and certainly not edgy. There was one Dodge Ram commercial that made some puns about "premature electrification" that we're waiting for the One Million Moms email about.

Of course, these days, we have our Spidey-senses up when watching events like this to see what is going to upset the joyless racist white MAGA fascist contingent of society. What is going to bother them so much that they once again demonstrate that they're not suitable for polite company, that they're not qualified to hang with normal people, that they are the rudest party guests in the known universe?

Would it be the endzone on the field, were it said, "End Racism?"

Is it the fact that for the first time ever at a Super Bowl, along with "The Star-Spangled Banner," there was a performance of "Lift Every Voice And Sing," AKA the Black national anthem?

Actress and singer Sheryl Lee Ralph performed "Lift Every Voice And Sing." Chris Stapleton performed "The Star-Spangled Banner." Both were absolutely stunning.

So here is Lauren Boebert, being a stunningly ignorant bigot about that.

And here is Birth Of A Nation extra Marjorie Taylor Greene saying she also only liked the white one:

"We" could have gone without the wokeness, she says, as if she speaks for good and normal Americans. Insider notes that in 2022, there was a proposal to give "Lift Every Voice And Sing" equal status with "The Star-Spangled Banner." Greene and Matt Gaetz fought against it, surprise.

As many people are pointing out, the fact that both of these women used the word "woke" is just a really revealing tell on their part, that when white conservatives say "woke," all they really mean is the "N"-word. They mean their white power feels threatened.

Here's Kari Lake, sitting reportedly during the Black national anthem:

Boebert also had this genius thought to share:

Athletes expressing religious faith? What will they think of next?

Just keep yelling about things, congresswoman, we're sure you'll accidentally make a coherent thought at some point.

The halftime show was Rihanna, who did a fun medley of all her biggest hits and in the process revealed that she was pregnant with her second child. We had a hard time trying to figure out what would enrage white MAGA fascists about that — she was covered head to toe and so were her dancers, with the exception of some glimpses of abs; a couple of the songs had slightly racy lyrics, maybe sorta kinda; she was pregnant, for God's sake! Would they be upset that you couldn't tell her dancers' genders at first glance, which raises the threat level for MAGA bro types to accidentally get aroused by a dude?

Luckily, Donald Trump was available just to wail about it, though we are not even sure he's clear what he's mad about:

The former president took to his Truth Social platform to fume: “EPIC FAIL: Rihanna gave, without question, the single worst Halftime Show in Super Bowl history.

“This after insulting far more than half of our Nation, which is already in serious DECLINE, with her foul and insulting language. Also, so much for her ‘Stylist!’” The rant came after a 2020 image of the music icon spray painting “F*** Trump” on a car resurfaced ahead of the show.

Ah, so it was more about how he's thin-skinned and easily upset, and had nothing to do with her actual performance. Obviously, Rihanna is a Black woman, which as we all know is a well-known trigger for MAGA types and for Trump. All of this is on brand. He probably wrote it beforehand.

Maxine Waters also notes:

Fair point.

Republican Rep. Ronny Jackson shrieked something about Rihanna's performance:

Okeydoke.

So that's about the extent of what upset your garden-variety MAGA troll people.

This doesn't quite fit the theme of this post, but it's making fun of Elon Musk, so it's fine. With all the extremely cool people at the Super Bowl, the person who was willing to hang out with Elon Musk was, um, Rupert Murdoch.

Oh boy, we bet they had a lot to talk about. Like being men of the people and combating misinformation and stuff, probably. Maybe Rupert gave Elon some dating tips, since Elon seems really lonely these days. Who knows?

Finally, we will acknowledge the stupid gabillion-dollar "He Gets Us" commercials, the trash a bunch of shady right-wing donors bought for the purpose of creepy proselytizing against people who didn't ask for it. Democratic Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez made a salient point about it:

As did journalist Judd Legum, who notes here that the group that funded the ads ALSO funds the Alliance Defending Freedom hate group, which shows up as legal counsel pretty much every time a fundamentalist Christian wants to use the legal system to hurt LGBTQ+ people or women's bodily autonomy or anything of that sort.

The head of Hobby Lobby is also a donor. For more on the creepy funders and aims of these people, check out Jacobin.

So that's what happened with that.

The ads themselves were dumb, with one being little more than a cheap reminder that Jesus loves everyone, even our enemies. As if Jesus would also drop his principles and NOT fight against tyranny and injustice and fascism. (Strangely, MAGA creeps like Charlie Kirk also hate the campaign, but for their own weirdo reasons.)

In summary and in conclusion, there was a football game last night, and the worst people in the world managed to find a reason to get upset about it.

As usual.

The end.

[Yahoo! News]

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