Super Committee Flops, Stocks Drop, Newt Glops

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NEW YORK — In a surprise to no one who has any sort of functioning memory of Washington over the last decade (i.e. not the Beltway press),the supercommittee has failed. Gird yourselves now for the coming year of annoying politicians repeating annoying terms like "trigger" and "sequester. Hilariously, Wall Street plunged a couple of percentage points on the news yesterday, demonstrating once again that the people running Wall Street are exceptionally incapable goofballs who hadn't yet accounted for the inevitable failure that 70% of the 99% were betting on.


A very special thing will happen tonight in Washington, D.C.: There will be a Republican debate on national security in which not one of the Republican candidates will be the most insufferable person on stage. (Relevant data point: the debate is being moderated by Wolf Blitzer.)

Newt Gingrich is ringing in his new frontrunner status by saying a couple of especially stupid things. First, Newt's proposing a privatization of social security that voters already roundly rejected, like, just a few years ago. [READ MORE AT GIFZETTE]

What is this? Why, it's the Gifzette Daily Briefing, brought to you by America's favorite New York daily animated-gif-based newspaper, Gifzette.

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