Super Skeevy Doctor Will Give You Drugs, Fap Over Your Pix, And Sext During Your Surgery


Are you one of those people who are afraid to be put under for surgery because you harbor a fear that something weird or unsafe will happen to you while you're out? No? Howzabout you read about this Seattle anesthesiologist who spent quality time sexting mid-surgery and also too fapped to patient photos in his downtime?

According to the Washington State Department of Health, anesthesiologist Arthur Zilberstein "compromised patient safety due to his preoccupation with sexual matters while he was on hospital duty between at least April and August 2013."

The state Medical Quality Assurance Commission says Zilberstein repeatedly sent sexually explicit text messages during surgeries in which he was the responsible anesthesiologist. During one August 6 surgery, Zilberstein exchanged 45 sexually-related messages, according to the commission.

Now, don't get us wrong. We are generally totes cool with sexting, even during work time, but that is because we are filthy bloggers and the worst thing that can happen if we take quality time out to sext is that we miss an opportunity to yell at Rush Limbaugh or something, but those opportunities are pretty much infinite, so NBD. If your anesthesiologist takes time out to sextytime during surgery, there exists the possibility that he is not currently paying attention to KEEPING YOU ALIVE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

Besides being potentially deadly, dude was also just plain skeevy.

The commission also accuses him of improperly accessing images of patients for "sexual gratification," as well as having sexual encounters while at work.

Wait. Now we're wondering what the hell kind of photos our doctor has that would lead to anyone being able to sexually gratify themselves via viewing. That x-rays of our torn ACL and the ultrasounds of our kidneys can't be that sexxxxy, can they?

It was probably inevitable that this would also be the type of doctor who had an all-too-free prescription-writing hand.

On top of the sexual accusations, the commission also said Zilberstein illegally prescribed drugs -- primarily Oxycodone -- to people at least 29 times without evaluating or diagnosing them. He's accused of having sex with one of those patients while at work

Apparently the guy also is accused of making racist remarks to one of his patients, so really he is just an all-around great guy.

We sincerely hope none of you gentle readers need surgery in the near future, because let's face it, all you're going to be thinking about if you do is this guy sexting and fapping and racism-ing and overprescribing drugs instead of KEEPING YOU ALIVE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. All apologies.


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How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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