Well, here is something you hear every day, if you are listening to superlawyer Larry Klayman: It is time to "legally, peacefully" "destroy" the Left and "put them in prison."

Here, let me help you up off the floor.

Remember all those times President Barack Obama forgot to put people in FEMA camps, even though Larry Klayman PROMISED he would, in addition to making people "white slaves," by having them work FOR A BLACK MAN? It seems old Larry, who is very good at "legal," might have been projecting a tiny bit.

After Attorney General Jeff Sessions said last week he was open to an investigation -- of the Obama Justice Department -- Larry Klayman really wanted to get in on the action.

“I commend Attorney General Jeff Sessions,” Klayman said, “and I hope to work with him in this noble goal. This is just round one. It’s time that the evil forces of the left be legally destroyed. In this world that we live in today, it’s either them or us; the two of us cannot live side-by-side. One is going to have to go, legally, peacefully. But these people who are trying to destabilize the Trump presidency and not have this country be made great again, frankly, they need to be thrown in prison.”


Perhaps you were under the impression that in the United States, it is not halal to say things like "it's either them or us" about other Americans, seeing as how it carries that vague whiff of Hutu v. Tutsi. If that's the case, you probably also thought that it would be ... let's call it "ineffective" lawyering to call a judge who ruled against you "a woman scorned" and explain that other judges who ruled against you just did so because they are Jews.

You may have been right once, but NOT IN TRUMP'S AMERICA, BOYOS! Here, all judges are either Mexican or Jews or "so-called." So Larry Klayman, superlawyer, finally has a forever home!

Good luck with your mass internments, Mr. Klayman! Just think how many jobs constructing "camps for 66 million people" will be! AND how many jobs will open up in the academy, and Hollywood, and anywhere people have to know stuff good, like, say, the Department of Energy, or the federal courts!

Won't it be nice for them once we're all gone? They can go to movies produced by either Kirk Cameron or Dinesh D'Souza and starring Janine Turner or Victoria Williams Jackson (sorry!), and study law at that Noah's Ark theme park, and all get their hair done by whoever this "Modest Mom" thinks is okay to be a hairdresser (spoiler: it DEFINITELY ain't no gaysexual!), and just generally have a lovely, liberal-free life.

Oh my, won't it be fun! And don't worry, sisters! There'll be lots of good jobs for women, too!

See you in the camps!

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Nancy Pelosi is making news again today after her weekly press conference, mostly because she said this about yesterday's nutbag performance from President Stable Genius:

[T]his time, another temper tantrum — again — I pray for the President Of The United States. I wish him and his family, his administration and staff would have an intervention for the good of the country.

She prays for him. And she's just kind of suggesting that maybe the president is unwell, in his brain. She's being very subtle!

When Glenn Thrush asked afterward what kind of "intervention" she might be talking about, she suggested that Article 25 would be just fine.

But many folks out there right now are saying "BUT WHAT ABOUT INPEACH! They are not going to do an intervention, because the intervention is called INPEACH!" (They are taking her words very literally, it would seem.) Every other damn day lately, there is news about how "NANCY SAID INPEACH IS BAD" or "NANCY SAID TRUMP'S ACTIONS IS SELF-INPEACH-ATORY, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, NANCY!" and whatever else, we don't know, because we have muted all of Twitter until further notice. (Here is some news about the House Democrats' weekly meeting yesterday, most of which was about Democrats yelling INPEACH! while Nancy Pelosi gave them cold showers.)

Here's the thing:

In today's presser, Pelosi was clearer than ever about her feelings on impeachment -- she doesn't like it, and she'd really hate for the nation to get to a place where that's inevitable, she is just saying it would be truly terrible for them to have to do that -- but they might just be FORCED to go there. And wouldn't that be just terrible? Nancy Pelosi is praying about that just like she is praying for Trump, under a big oak tree that casts all the shade she threw at Donald Trump for her entire fucking presser.

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Happy Throwback Thursday! Remember Paul Manafort? He's still in jail, don't worry. But it looks like he might be getting some company soon from his old pal Stephen Calk, who just got indicted today by the Southern District of New York.

Calk was a simple CEO and COB at the Federal Savings Bank of Chicago, but he had big dreams. He'd been an army pilot and a money guy, so he figured he was competent to be either Secretary of Treasury or Secretary of Army. He'd take Commerce or HUD, or even a cool ambassadorship to France, or the UK, or the UN -- he wasn't picky. Just any old position befitting a guy who is 100 percent going to be played by Michael McKean in the movie version of this nightmare.

Luckily Calk knew a guy on the inside. Sure that guy had recently been You're Fired from the Trump campaign for ratfucking the Ukrainian election, but Paul Manafort was still waving his bits all over Trumpland in the summer and fall of 2016, so Paul Manafort had the hookup that Calk needed. Luckily, Calk had what Manafort needed, which was MONEY. Manafort's fountain of untaxed cash had dried up since the Ukrainians gave his guy Viktor Yanukovych the boot, and he was in danger of losing multiple investment properties to foreclosure. So naturally Calk stepped up to the plate with $15 million in loans to keep the wolves at bay, because what are friends with more political ambition than scruple for, right?

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