Surprising Rules Presidents Have To Abide By After Leaving Office! Tabs, Wed., May 19, 2021

Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

Everybody, file your taxes today, or file for an extension. (And by "everybody," I mean my kids. Dammit, they don't read tabs.) [Edit: That was Monday. Oops! Stupid "Mountain Time"]

Everything about this proposed child vaccination bill in Pennsylvania is The Worst. (WITF) Does Texas Gov. Greg Abbott WANT Texas schoolchildren to get COVID? Well, he's banning school districts from requiring masks, and remember, kids under 12 aren't yet eligible for the vaccine. So, objectively, yes! (CBS)

Yes, we still need vaccine passports. — Vox

How the pandemic changed Connie Schultz! (Time) Brian Beutler's life after COVID is some scary shit. (Crooked) GTFO forever, Phil Spector! (New York Times)

The science that kept people in charge from believing COVID was airborne, and the heroes who proved it. — Wired

Whom is Katie Porter disemboweling today?

Perhaps next she might wish to ask Kabbage execs about the many millions of fraudulent PPP loans they disbursed? I don't know, she's pretty busy. — ProPublica

It will shock you how much it never happened: Tim Miller on the Republicans getting promoted for Stop the Steal, Kevin McCarthy blocking a commission, and all our other GOP friends of ending democracy. (The Bulwark)

Why are Republicans blocking a 1/6 commission? You know why. — Amanda Marcotte at Salon

Megs McCabe frothing and shouting and yelling, for a change. — Salon

Mississippi Supreme Court had super good reason for DQing voter-approved medical marijuana, along with all other ballot initiatives unto infinity. Like SUPER-DUPER good! (It is "the law says you must get signatures from all five Mississippi congressional districts, but Mississippi only has four congressional districts now." See? The BEST GOOD!) (Mississippi Today)

Fran Lebowitz's One-Star Amazon Reviews:

Hammer (Sixteen Ounces, Craftsman)
What are we hammering?
Why do we, as humans, feel this need to put holes in things?
See, this is why I love New York. Everybody rents.
I've lived in my apartment for thirty-five years. I've never made a single hole.
There's nothing hanging on the walls.
Even if I die here, I'm getting that security deposit back.

Thank you, New Yorker.

Let's all build a 4x4 truss dining table! And by "let's," I mean Shy! (Ana White)

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

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