Rick Santelli Sorry He Said You Should Get Sick And Die, For The Economy

Rick Santelli Sorry He Said You Should Get Sick And Die, For The Economy

Hey, guys, let's meet at Kenny's house tomorrow, and we can sneeze in each other's faces until we all get coronavirus. Cool?

WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? This is a very good and serious plan proposed by CNBC's sophisticated money guy Rick Santelli.

Of course, people are getting nervous. And listen, I'm not a doctor. I'm not a doctor. All I know is, think about how the world would be if you tried to quarantine everybody because of the generic-type flu. Now I'm not saying this is the generic-type flu. But maybe we'd be just better off if we gave it to everybody, and then in a month it would be over because the mortality rate of this probably isn't going to be any different if we did it that way than the long-term picture, but the difference is we're wreaking havoc on global and domestic economies.


Well, we are also not A DOCTOR. But we can think of one or two tiny problems with this scenario. It might, just for example, put some stress on the American healthcare system to have 330 million people sick at the same time. Although, failure to grok the secondary impacts is exactly the kind of error you'd expect from a die-hard supply-sider who thinks the best way to boost the economy is by giving more money to rich people. It's as if if we all agreed to meet at Popeye's for lunch, only, if you don't walk out with a chicken sandwich, YOU DIE.

There's also the small matter of the differential outcomes among age and health groups. The 3.4 percent mortality rate projected by the WHO — but rejected by Trump's expansive gut — is not spread evenly over the entire population. While young and healthy people might be able beat the virus quickly, their frailer grandparents would likely die in huge numbers. And Gen X may be slackers, but we're sure as hell not handing over our parents and our kids for voluntary infection with a potentially fatal disease.

Belatedly realizing that his comments were really fucking stupid, even as a thought exercise, Santelli apologized this morning. Which ... more credit to ya, we guess.

He still hasn't apologized for his insane 2009 rant against a bailout for homeowners facing foreclosure, in which he demanded a referendum "to see if we want to subsidize the losers' mortgages, or see if we want to have a chance to buy houses, and buy cars, and give 'em to people that might actually have a chance to prosper down the road, and reward people that could actually carry the water instead of drink the water." Santelli's psychotic ranting is largely credited with kicking off the Tea Party movement, to make sure those losers didn't get another chance to drag down the economy again.


Ain't he a peach? Love to see those traders around him applauding, too. As if they hadn't all spent the previous five years jockeying to buy up sacks of shit mortgages while ignoring the unmistakeable reek coming off 'em. So weird that those same guys, when given the keys to government, were so desperate to protect the stock market that they spectacularly botched the response to a global pandemic.

In summary and in conclusion, eat the rich. But, please, wash your hands first.


Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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