Trump ended pandemic early warning system to detect novel coronaviruses that had been working ... with Wuhan. — LA Times

Okay, so if I have this right ... we are sending the national stockpile to businessmen, and THEN the states are bidding on it? Jesus fuck I hope I'm too many drinks in and got this entirely wrong.

Oh, sorry, Jared explains it. It's HIS stockpile.

FEMA: Those 100,000 ventilators we promised will be ready in ... June. Cool, maybe Jared can make some money on them then. — Politico

Elizabeth Warren wants $15.5 billion to help homeless people through the pandemic. (HuffPost)

GOOD NEWS! Did you notice, coronavirus murdered your robocalls? (LA Times)

I just ... okay.

"America's political dysfunction is rooted not in ideological polarization, but in the Republican Party's conviction that it alone should be allowed to govern." — Adam Serwer at The Atlantic

Well I hope my tiny local bank doesn't decide not to participate in the stimulus bill's Paycheck Protection Program! I've already applied! You should apply too, that includes self-employed people and gig workers. (Politico)

But it probably won't, because here's the Treasury Department's factsheet (note the pdf title: "Microsoft Word - PPP--IFRN FINAL"), and banks are going to make a killllllling (three to five percent of each loan, for "processing" that won't cost them a cent when they don't have to verify any info, and they're not on the hook for a penny of it).

AND YET! If the IRS doesn't have your bank account on file, you might not receive your stimulus checks until September. Here's hoping they put a widget on the site to let you add your account number, CRAZY FACE MOTICON. (Washington Post)

Say bye-bye to Navy Captain Brett Crozier, the dude whose letter about his sick sailors leaked to the SF Chronicle. (Washington Post)

This is weird you guys. Peter Baker of the New York Times said a true!

Defense Sec Esper has his "Donald Rumsfeld moment." — Spencer Ackerman at Daily Beast

You're not alone. This shit's fucking up all of us. It's science! — WaPo

This Wonker (and my longtime dear friend) sells all kind of vintage errrething!

This Wonker makes HOT CHOCOLATE BALLS!

This Wonker makes indie-pop tribute compilation albums!

This Wonker makes paintings!

This Wonker makes gorgeous jewelry.

This Wonker's wife or daughter I forget makes beautiful nature photo prints.

This Wonker makes DOG TUXEDOS.

This Wonker makes soup recipe cookbooks ... WITH PINUP LADIES!

This Wonker's parents sell vintage Hawaiiana!

This Wonker makes little knit octopuses!

This Wonker will teach YOU to knit!

This Wonker sells vintage cameras and other thingies! Oh wait, I think that's our Jamie!

And this Wonker makes poetry! Her pay-what-you-will MAD ABOUT A THING chapbook supports her mother's workplace, an immigrant rights organization.

Here is a beautiful story about her grandmother's canning. Go, plant your garden if you can. (NYT)

Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

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