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Here's Why Guys Are Obsessed With This Underwear! Tabs, Fri., Feb. 21, 2020

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I have so many tabs today to make up for yesterday, when I just yelled and cursed you like I was Amy Klobuchar and you were Mayor Pete! But don't worry about me, I am fine: I wrote Thursday's Mad Tabs before the debate Wednesday night, when Elizabeth Warren translated all my anger.

www.youtube.com


Also don't worry about me, I am fine, because this is my last day before I will not be working for A WEEK and taking my 47th birthday Tuesday in Mexico and not crying hardly at all. After next week, okay and possibly in the middle of it if shit gets real but I'm going to try REALLY HARD NOT TO, I will be working, but it will be from my friends' house in Mexico for a couple of weeks, because I bought our airline tickets back when I thought Montana this year would have "winter." SAYONARA, ME! DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT ME IN THE ASS!

SO what are we reading? Some tabs.


MAURA QUINT'S PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE RECAPS: THE ONE WITH MIKE BLOOMBERG is the most beautiful thing I have read this week. Just go read it or I'll be screenshotting it at you all day. — McSweeney's

LOL White House is floating another tax bill, this one DEFINITELY won't be a cut for Trump & Pals, FOR SURE! (Washington Post)

This story about how we steal land from black heirs just won a Polk Award. If you haven't already seen it, open a tab for when you have an hour. It's HOLY SHIT and we should all know it. (ProPublica)

Nancy Pelosi could be handling this better. (Crooked Media)

Oh, The Bulwark, please shut the fuck up. Romney-Bloomberg: The Unity Ticket America Deserves

Rebecca Traister is being mean to Susan Collins. That's SER's job!!! (New York mag)

Elle has a silly fun writeup of Liz Warren, doing the murder plans.

This Alexandra Petri column on Warren's invisibility cloak is no longer operative. (WaPo)

Vox's Best Case for Elizabeth Warren is pretty fascinating, and heavy on her experience fighting fellow Dems (for good) and setting up and running CFPB; they kind of make her sound like an actual superhero. I'm not saying no!

https://wonkettebazaar.com/products/elizabeth-warren-comrade-tee


(The rest of the series: The case for Bernie Sanders; the case for Joe Biden; the case for Pete Buttigieg; the case for Mike Bloomberg.)

Vox also has a fun walk down Moms of Former 12-Year-Old Boys Memory Lane, with its History of Axe Body Spray.

Fort Lauderdale: lady in the sheets, 211 million gallons of poo water in the streets.

More than 100 workers getting laid off at Trinity Broadcast Network's Daily Jesus Crucifixion Theme Park Funtimes Show, For Kids! in Orlando, even despite Jeb! Bush letting the theme park be "a church." — TampaBay.com

My friend Anthony writes about planespotting. — LA Mag

Remember the patent attorney with literally zero experience in journalism who's got a new hustle as a "media bias decider"? Well, she still maintains Wonkette is berry berry bad, which we all already know, duh. BUT. Did you know that the cult Trump paper the Epoch Times is actually good? Congratulations, Epoch Times. I'm just gonna go dig out my master's in journalism, and put it next to all these non-cult-member journalists and experts in law and politics and rhetoric and decency whom I employ while being vile nonsense damaging to the discourse, unlike the cult people who always fluff Trump.

Power causes brain damage (The Atlantic)

I was a Hollywood assistant and I got yelled at on the toilet. — New York mag

This is a bad way to buy a car! (Jalopnik!)

Eric Boehlert is PEEVISH that the NYT is greenwashing Trump. I dunno, I thought that article — the one that said he was the subject of a book by an aide called Donald J. Trump, An Environmental Hero — was very knowing and also fucking hilarious. (Boehlert's media newsletter)

If you click through this link to the Green Century fund, The Nation will probably get like a dollar. Or a penny. I have no idea, ads are going for shit these days. Regardless, I have been trying to find, like, "solar" 401k's? or ROTH IRA's? and I didn't know how, so I will keep this tab open until my browser crashes and then I will beat my breast that all my important tabs are gone.

See you in a week, I SURE HOPE IT IS NOT SOONER, and for your sake SO SHOULD YOU.




Who wants to buy us a pina colada? IS IT YOU? It might be you. I love you. Goodbye!

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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