People Whose Luck Levels Are Below Zero! Tabs, Fri., March 12, 2021

People Whose Luck Levels Are Below Zero! Tabs, Fri., March 12, 2021
Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

The White House made you an American Relief Plan bloog! (Bloog) A year after the coronavirus became a pandemic, the historic investments of the ARP. (The American Prospect) Florida Senator Rick Scott thinks Florida should send back all its ARP money, because can't anyone who needs some just scam Medicaid? (Palm Beach Post)

Joe Biden gave a speech! The people liked it. You have seen it already probably, it announces Good Things but is also sad, but also is Fun because it doesn't thank Trump because fuck that guy and now someone's feigning like "CIVIL?" The humanity.

"Every town, midsize city, or urban neighborhood has one, or, perhaps, a family of them: the nuisance litigants, the business owners who address zoning board hearings while visibly intoxicated, the parents who ruin PTA meetings by accusing The Polar Express of encouraging demonry. They are the regulars in the police blotter section of the newspaper, the ones who have been banned from multiple softball leagues for reasons that somehow involve child support. They are America's local ding-dongs and loose cannons. And, increasingly, they represent the Republican Party's interests in Congress." There's a couple even I hadn't known about! Click, Slate, click.

Shiny normal thing! Merrick Garland is at DOJ.

I think it may be fair to infer the Pentagon simply does not care for TUCKER BITCHFACE GODDAMN CARLSON IMPUGNING THE FIGHT IN ITS NON-MAN SOLDIERS. Let's peruse the title of this news story from Defense News, courtesy of the Department of Defense:

Press Secretary Smites Fox Host That Dissed Diversity in U.S. Military

Tucker's now whining he's a victim of war, so, surprise.

At least 3000 anti-Asian-American hate crimes in the past year, as opposed to usually in the neighborhood of 100. I am so, so sorry. Rep. Grace Meng and Sen. Mazie Hirono have hate-crime legislation. (USA Today)

For Women's History Month, University of DC spotlights Jean Camper Cahn, a Black woman who helped establish federal funding of legal services for the poor, and was the first director of the National Legal Services Program. (The Hillary completists will remember that Hillary Clinton became board chairman of the Legal Services Corporation — again, providing legal services for poor people — under Jimmy Carter, and obviously that means she's a CORPORATIST.) (UDC)

"His videos, based on Pool's background as a liberal reporter who became a Trump voter after feeling alienated from the modern left, have amassed more than 1.1 billion cumulative views. He has a million-dollar mansion in the Maryland woods, complete with a podcast studio and a skate park. Donald Trump invited him to the White House." I am so sad now. Anyway, apparently Tim Pool took somebody's cat hostage, and somehow he and his partners don't know (??) what happened to the news site they started with $1 million in crowdfunding moneys (it's pretty hard to follow!), and I don't know why anybody on the Internet trusts anybody on the Internet who isn't me. — Daily Beast

This is ACTUALLY the stupidest thing I have ever heard of. Some dipshit paid $69 million for a digital artwork whose provenance will be proved via blockchain. Bleeeeeech. (Verge)

A lot of words before you get to Facebook vice president of conservative world domination Joel Kaplan's fuckery to ensure there's conservative domination of the world, but this is important. — MIT Technology Review

Here's some hilarious crazy bullshits from World's Best Charitable Attorney Jay Sekulow, explaining it is UNLEGAL for children to do cusses, for the First Amendment. Principles! (Brief or Liz writing at ATL)

50 Terrible Book Covers for Literary Classics. PLEASE don't miss this one, it's magnificent. — Lithub

Meine Damen und Herren, herzlichen Glückwunsch an Liza Minnelli an ihrem 75. Geburtstag!

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